You guys hears "tu meri"? The awesome song from the movie bang bang? Its a damn catchy song. So check out my dance cover for the song on youtube.
https://youtu.be/tUIPA7VMx9w
https://youtu.be/tUIPA7VMx9w
Wednesday, 2 September 2015
Tuesday, 1 September 2015
Advanced or Belated Happy Fathers day!
Overall this has been a pretty self obsessed blog. Majority of the entries are about me or the things ive done or what i feel about things or my life experiences. Now for a small change. I want to make this entry a bit about families. (Some of the material ive taken from a chris rock standup so....thank you chris!)
Being a dad has to be a very difficult job. Hey feminists. Dont you give me that look! Yes a mother is as important and difficult or even more. But mothers get their share of compliments. You know "wow mum! This tastes delicious! This is just like a restaurant" When was the last time weve ever told our dad "hey dad! Thanks a lot for knocking off this months rent!" Or "daim daddy! I sure love this hot water you paid for!" Without expecting any appreciation these men work to make sure you have a roof on top of your heads!
Fathers have to undergo a lot of ridiculous problems such as when the kid has that annoying friend whos father is loaded. Filthy stinking rich. Hell be buying the boy every edition of game console when hes a kid, everytype of phone durig high shool or every type of car during his college days. So the kid will come to you and will say "its not fair daddy. Hes got a Ferrari a PlayStation 4..infact the playstation 4 is in the ferrari! You never got me anythin!" Never got me anythin?! When did food shelter and clothing become nothing? But fathera slowly talk to the boy. Slowly put some sense into his head and make him understand. Thats just highly admirable. This is why i cannot be a father. If i hear that dialogue ill throw him in the oven just like a horror movie! Ill eat him for dinner. Its like getting my cash back.
Its very very admirable how they make sure that they give the first preference to the kids. Make sure the kids eaten and then theyll eat. Ask if hes had enough. Give him all the best pieces. Say that the wing piece of chicken is enough. Even though it wont be. (Who can be satisified on just a wing?!) That is just amazing. Because im sure i cant do that. If my son reaches out for the big piece of chicken ill slit his wrist. Ill say "2 more inches to the left and youll be dead. Listen...i made you so i can break you also! So hands off my chicken!"
My father has done somethin which noother father in the world has done or can do. Hes put up with me for 22 years. Im serious! If i was in his place i would have smothered the boy with a pillow before he grew his first moustache. Hehe..im a difficult person to hang out with. Imagine living in the same house as me. So that deserves a applause of its own. *crowd clapping*
I am so not ready to be a father that this is enough abstinence for me to avoid high school preganancy. Daim! I bet people reading this will stuff their purses with condoms. Friend:dude its 100 per head. Everybody pay up....friend2:" ya dude i have no cash. Its in the atm or in my room...i think (my favourite dialogue).... Friend 1:what do u mean? Your purse looks full. Whats inside it?....guy2:...er......*cough* life saving measures.
On the serious side dad if you are reading this i want to use this as an opportunity to thank you for all the things youve done for me till now though i didnt say it at that moment even though i should have.
This entry is a salute to all the fathers in the world and especially to my father. And a thank you for all the unappreciated things theyve done for us all these years. *crowd giving standing ovation in the background.....and confetti falling from the ceiling*
Being a dad has to be a very difficult job. Hey feminists. Dont you give me that look! Yes a mother is as important and difficult or even more. But mothers get their share of compliments. You know "wow mum! This tastes delicious! This is just like a restaurant" When was the last time weve ever told our dad "hey dad! Thanks a lot for knocking off this months rent!" Or "daim daddy! I sure love this hot water you paid for!" Without expecting any appreciation these men work to make sure you have a roof on top of your heads!
Fathers have to undergo a lot of ridiculous problems such as when the kid has that annoying friend whos father is loaded. Filthy stinking rich. Hell be buying the boy every edition of game console when hes a kid, everytype of phone durig high shool or every type of car during his college days. So the kid will come to you and will say "its not fair daddy. Hes got a Ferrari a PlayStation 4..infact the playstation 4 is in the ferrari! You never got me anythin!" Never got me anythin?! When did food shelter and clothing become nothing? But fathera slowly talk to the boy. Slowly put some sense into his head and make him understand. Thats just highly admirable. This is why i cannot be a father. If i hear that dialogue ill throw him in the oven just like a horror movie! Ill eat him for dinner. Its like getting my cash back.
Its very very admirable how they make sure that they give the first preference to the kids. Make sure the kids eaten and then theyll eat. Ask if hes had enough. Give him all the best pieces. Say that the wing piece of chicken is enough. Even though it wont be. (Who can be satisified on just a wing?!) That is just amazing. Because im sure i cant do that. If my son reaches out for the big piece of chicken ill slit his wrist. Ill say "2 more inches to the left and youll be dead. Listen...i made you so i can break you also! So hands off my chicken!"
My father has done somethin which noother father in the world has done or can do. Hes put up with me for 22 years. Im serious! If i was in his place i would have smothered the boy with a pillow before he grew his first moustache. Hehe..im a difficult person to hang out with. Imagine living in the same house as me. So that deserves a applause of its own. *crowd clapping*
I am so not ready to be a father that this is enough abstinence for me to avoid high school preganancy. Daim! I bet people reading this will stuff their purses with condoms. Friend:dude its 100 per head. Everybody pay up....friend2:" ya dude i have no cash. Its in the atm or in my room...i think (my favourite dialogue).... Friend 1:what do u mean? Your purse looks full. Whats inside it?....guy2:...er......*cough* life saving measures.
On the serious side dad if you are reading this i want to use this as an opportunity to thank you for all the things youve done for me till now though i didnt say it at that moment even though i should have.
This entry is a salute to all the fathers in the world and especially to my father. And a thank you for all the unappreciated things theyve done for us all these years. *crowd giving standing ovation in the background.....and confetti falling from the ceiling*
Birthday bashes!!!!
Hey guys. Long time again. This time its a pretty funny story why i dissapeared. Lets go back to one of my friends birthday. His birthday was a few days after mine. So we were just celebrating his birthday. Inother words we were beating the living crap out of him on the beach. Why? Theyll say they want to celebrate it on the beach because its a good atmosphere. But the truth is because on a beach they cant hear your screams during the beatdown. Imagine the scene some policemen walking down the beach...policeman 1:ok we have to look around for suspicious activity..policemen 2:sir look over there. I believe ita a group murder attempt.....p1:ah chill. Its just a birthday. Let's go quickly. We might be able to get some cake.
Oh incase any of you readers are not from india and not quite getting this then let me explain how birthdays are celebrated here.
Its kind of the concept of evolution. How did we celebrate birthdays as we small. The friends would surprise the birthday boy. You kno..get him a cake, gifts, give him a few slaps on the back, sing the birthday song and then in his happiness towards everyone he gives a treat. Sweet isnt it? Makes you wanna wish you have a birthday every month. Now as the years go by..1. The gifts slowly decrease in size and number..2.the cash used for the gifts is used for a big ass cake for everyone to eat..3.the few slaps on a back become "birthday bumps" which means kicking,slapping,hitting with a few weapons (i got hit by a cricket bat once), throwing him up etc etc and when they assured that hes temporarily handicapped for the day...they ask a treat from him. Its not even a question nowadays its like "hey i heard its your birthday. Wheres the treat?"..My standard answer is " yeah..who are you again?" Technically nowadays otherpeople are more excited for my birthday than me. So when my parents send me cash for my birthday they'll be like "so what did u buy with the cash?"... Me:half of kfc!!
My advice for this situation is. If your birthday is in february (which mine is . february 18 so please feel free to wish me in the comments section during that day). Fight with everyone on january. Curse their sisters, their favourite football team, their sexualities..whatever! Be one lonely introvert for a month and when its march (or someone elses birthday coming up). Kiss and make up. " sorry dude i didnt mean it" I dont kno what i drank that day. Ill never make fun of your relationships with your stufffes animals. Come on! Sorry dude! Give me a hug!"
Coming back to my story. I pushed my friend into the water. Along with me. My phone was in my pocket. So when i gave to repair in the shop the shopkeepers was like "did you try switching it on?".. Me:yes!..him:did you put it on charge..me:of course!..him:You shouldn't do any of that!..me:.....:/. My dad would have killed me but the next day i got my results and i passed (ok! You can stop giving the shocked looks! Im serious!) So ya....im not complaining
Oh incase any of you readers are not from india and not quite getting this then let me explain how birthdays are celebrated here.
Its kind of the concept of evolution. How did we celebrate birthdays as we small. The friends would surprise the birthday boy. You kno..get him a cake, gifts, give him a few slaps on the back, sing the birthday song and then in his happiness towards everyone he gives a treat. Sweet isnt it? Makes you wanna wish you have a birthday every month. Now as the years go by..1. The gifts slowly decrease in size and number..2.the cash used for the gifts is used for a big ass cake for everyone to eat..3.the few slaps on a back become "birthday bumps" which means kicking,slapping,hitting with a few weapons (i got hit by a cricket bat once), throwing him up etc etc and when they assured that hes temporarily handicapped for the day...they ask a treat from him. Its not even a question nowadays its like "hey i heard its your birthday. Wheres the treat?"..My standard answer is " yeah..who are you again?" Technically nowadays otherpeople are more excited for my birthday than me. So when my parents send me cash for my birthday they'll be like "so what did u buy with the cash?"... Me:half of kfc!!
My advice for this situation is. If your birthday is in february (which mine is . february 18 so please feel free to wish me in the comments section during that day). Fight with everyone on january. Curse their sisters, their favourite football team, their sexualities..whatever! Be one lonely introvert for a month and when its march (or someone elses birthday coming up). Kiss and make up. " sorry dude i didnt mean it" I dont kno what i drank that day. Ill never make fun of your relationships with your stufffes animals. Come on! Sorry dude! Give me a hug!"
Coming back to my story. I pushed my friend into the water. Along with me. My phone was in my pocket. So when i gave to repair in the shop the shopkeepers was like "did you try switching it on?".. Me:yes!..him:did you put it on charge..me:of course!..him:You shouldn't do any of that!..me:.....:/. My dad would have killed me but the next day i got my results and i passed (ok! You can stop giving the shocked looks! Im serious!) So ya....im not complaining
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