Now I'm going to use this opportunity to address one of the current pressing medical topics
Random nerd : "Wow! You mean we are actually going to talk about the new developments in the treatment of multiple sclerosis in which they discovered a new protein in the immune system which helps in the development of myelin cells"
Me:......no. I'm pretty sure its not about skeletosis or about any he man villain.
I want to adress about the assault on a doctor recently.
Theres a video which is being shared by most medical students on Facebook Apparantly from what ive heard a medical student had just told that they had to shift the patient to another place. And i have no clue what drugs the patients attender was on but he just attacked the student. I personally think its a shocking , cowardly and shameless act and this is not the first.
But what people dont know is that theres an official law that doctors can defend themselves in case of attacks. Oh yeah! We will not sit quietly. We have aaaall the right in the world to beat to holy sh*t out of you. I dont know if its a official law but we will make it official at that moment!
You should realise...just like how your financial advisor can make you increase your income in 2 months he can also make you bankrupt in 2 days. Or like a minister who rules a state for 4 years can mess the whole place up in 4 days (not like theres anything new about that) In the same way if doctors can heal people...its soooooo much easier for us to the opposite.
I mean everything is a weapon for us. So if we are in a the ward and a person comes to attack just take the BP apparatus and hit them with it. Aaaand if there isnt anything in the ward just take your steth and choke them. Litmann steth are very sturdy. Confirm to make them pass out.
The more intensive the care is the more utility we have in our belt. If you come to the ICU we'll be having defibrillators. We will electrocute you just like raiden from Mortal Kombat.
The best scenario is they come to attack us in the operation theatre. We'll be ready! The chief would be like "Are you sure they coming?. Ok. Open the patients blindfold and make him sit up straight. Hes gonna see some cool shit! Ok! You take that knife. You hold that instrument and you hold the IV line. You! You are sterile! Dont you touch anything! Just stand in the corner! Someone also take a video! We going to make this more viral than the doctor assault vid"
So what will happen is the attacker will get mauled by every unsterile instrument ,get an IV line pushed up his ass and then treat his wounds in the same operation theatre and then make him pay the bill the next day morning.
Not every medical college is quiet.We have been to some crazy gang fights in college. Ive been to most fights. What? Seriously! Well....i just go to the fights and watch. Ill be eating a snack watching them fight shouting "Come on! Kick him! Pick up that stick! You call that a punch? You hit like a vegetarian! Uhuho. Not you! The other guy!"
Now you can ask what will we do if there is a group to attack us and we are the only doctor. Simple! Just do what Jeff Hardy does in every wrestling match. Stand on the bed and then jump on all of them so that they are temporarily stunned for 20 seconds (10 seconds theyll be down in pain and another 10 seconds theyll be in shock like "holy shit! a flying doctor!") and then take the intercom and call backup from another ward.
Now people would usually recommend calling the ortho ward. Ortho doctors ate considered the jocks on the medical world. You know Huge testesterone filled guys who fix bones and have an obvious deficit of feminity on their lives (very ironic i said this dialogue). But i would recommend calling the OG ward. Scariest women i ever met in my life! Just like the banshees in Harry Potter. The people who dont believe me have not been to labour ward posting.
Now i suppose your thinking "Where is his point going with this?" (Voice:Thats what she said!" Me:Shut up!") Im saying that we doctors do the best in our ability to save the life of the patient. This is not like a video game where you'll get full life and you save your proges when you go to a hospital. So if there is the unfortunate demise of the concerned patient. Then please do not show your emotion on the doctor.
So to er....say it in a formal way - If you proceed to harm us then we will f*ck you up son! Ya dig?
*dropping mike*
Random nerd : "Wow! You mean we are actually going to talk about the new developments in the treatment of multiple sclerosis in which they discovered a new protein in the immune system which helps in the development of myelin cells"
Me:......no. I'm pretty sure its not about skeletosis or about any he man villain.
I want to adress about the assault on a doctor recently.
Theres a video which is being shared by most medical students on Facebook Apparantly from what ive heard a medical student had just told that they had to shift the patient to another place. And i have no clue what drugs the patients attender was on but he just attacked the student. I personally think its a shocking , cowardly and shameless act and this is not the first.
But what people dont know is that theres an official law that doctors can defend themselves in case of attacks. Oh yeah! We will not sit quietly. We have aaaall the right in the world to beat to holy sh*t out of you. I dont know if its a official law but we will make it official at that moment!
You should realise...just like how your financial advisor can make you increase your income in 2 months he can also make you bankrupt in 2 days. Or like a minister who rules a state for 4 years can mess the whole place up in 4 days (not like theres anything new about that) In the same way if doctors can heal people...its soooooo much easier for us to the opposite.
I mean everything is a weapon for us. So if we are in a the ward and a person comes to attack just take the BP apparatus and hit them with it. Aaaand if there isnt anything in the ward just take your steth and choke them. Litmann steth are very sturdy. Confirm to make them pass out.
The more intensive the care is the more utility we have in our belt. If you come to the ICU we'll be having defibrillators. We will electrocute you just like raiden from Mortal Kombat.
The best scenario is they come to attack us in the operation theatre. We'll be ready! The chief would be like "Are you sure they coming?. Ok. Open the patients blindfold and make him sit up straight. Hes gonna see some cool shit! Ok! You take that knife. You hold that instrument and you hold the IV line. You! You are sterile! Dont you touch anything! Just stand in the corner! Someone also take a video! We going to make this more viral than the doctor assault vid"
So what will happen is the attacker will get mauled by every unsterile instrument ,get an IV line pushed up his ass and then treat his wounds in the same operation theatre and then make him pay the bill the next day morning.
Not every medical college is quiet.We have been to some crazy gang fights in college. Ive been to most fights. What? Seriously! Well....i just go to the fights and watch. Ill be eating a snack watching them fight shouting "Come on! Kick him! Pick up that stick! You call that a punch? You hit like a vegetarian! Uhuho. Not you! The other guy!"
Now you can ask what will we do if there is a group to attack us and we are the only doctor. Simple! Just do what Jeff Hardy does in every wrestling match. Stand on the bed and then jump on all of them so that they are temporarily stunned for 20 seconds (10 seconds theyll be down in pain and another 10 seconds theyll be in shock like "holy shit! a flying doctor!") and then take the intercom and call backup from another ward.
Now people would usually recommend calling the ortho ward. Ortho doctors ate considered the jocks on the medical world. You know Huge testesterone filled guys who fix bones and have an obvious deficit of feminity on their lives (very ironic i said this dialogue). But i would recommend calling the OG ward. Scariest women i ever met in my life! Just like the banshees in Harry Potter. The people who dont believe me have not been to labour ward posting.
Now i suppose your thinking "Where is his point going with this?" (Voice:Thats what she said!" Me:Shut up!") Im saying that we doctors do the best in our ability to save the life of the patient. This is not like a video game where you'll get full life and you save your proges when you go to a hospital. So if there is the unfortunate demise of the concerned patient. Then please do not show your emotion on the doctor.
So to er....say it in a formal way - If you proceed to harm us then we will f*ck you up son! Ya dig?
*dropping mike*
