Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Quickies -Jimmiki kammal live!

We have seen many of these one song wonders come and go. Kolaveri do....thalli pogathey....pattaya kelapu from Bhairava....whaaat? I liked the song. . The common procedure of us cursing the song in the morning saying that they don't understand why people like this but then downloading the song 2 hours later. Jimmiki Kamal is another one of those. It's one of those hit mallu songs which cross the Kerala border like.....er.... one sec...er...ok never mind.
One of the main factors to the songs hit is the  lovely video of the public school of commerce dancing to the song....sry I mean. Girls of the public school or commerce dance to it (audience:aaah now makes sense). So this has sent a Ripple of 2 reactions 1.girls asking guys "seriously dude? For this? This is wat you are pumped about? Wats wrong with me huh? You have a think for mallu girls don't u?! Huh! That's it I'm not talking to you" And dance classes all over thinking "6 million views uh? For this? That it! Bring on the team! We are going to hit that view jackpot". Well gentlemen all I can say is..nomatter how much you flip,B boy and own them.... you still can't beat the onam!
     Unbelievable! The girl in front became famous. There is actually interviews of her and all and she's coming in the news. Ya she dances really well and she was the only one with her hair loose
Moral of the story: make sure you do a makeover to your hair before you ever post a dance video
"Dude I'm not coming for the performance! I remember all the steps. That's no problem. But I didn't wash my hair. So I'm out"
             This actually happened.
Me to a girl: You heard Jimiki Kamal.
Girl:Ya the cinematography is good and the song is catchy
Me:oh I mean the video of the girls dancing
Girl: Oh No. Not you too?! What is with you guys and that video?!
               Well if you ask me. I personally like the song. Too catchy. Even my phone music player is like "Really dude? Again?"
And the video is really good choreography. Cinematography...top notch direction...wait what? There's another video apart from the girls dancing?! Really? Who gives a damn about tha....*Same girl hitting me in the back of the head*.... Ow! 

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Swarahahahahha!

              Many crazes come and go. Just like how when we were small and we had crazes like beyblades and Pokémon cards. Once we grow up we get even more dumber crazes and one of them was Sarahah
      Now the all the people who were (luckily) under a rock. Let me explain what it is. You open an account and then people can send you an anonymous message about what they feel about you and you won't find out who it is. People will also post the messages which they get on Facebook and give their comments on it.
      So when it came I totally thought it was bullshit. Dumbest thing ever. But I was sitting there watching people post all the compliments they were getting. It'll be like they'll post a message they got of them saying "I've always had a crush on u" and they'll put a caption "wow thanks". So this is when the peer pressure sets in. You start thinking "Really? For him? This dude. Someg irl thought he was cute? Rubbish! I'm pretty sure it's a guy!" And then when you sit there alone in your bed looking at the fan at 3 in the morning. You'll start thinking "Hmmm. For him that much messages? Him?! Really? Him?!?" You'll be saying him sooo many times in your head that youll sound like a vibrating phone! At that point your ego (that evil bastard in yr head) will be like "Dude if that guy can get that much messages. Think how much you will get! You da man! The big man! The number one draw! (More like dumber one draw) MVP! Infact you will make that app crash with the messages! Time to make an account tomorrow" either that happens or you'll get drunk and you'll make an account. Oooor the most common scenario is a girl (or a guy..hey I'm not judging) you like will ask "How come you didn't make an account?" And the rest is history.
        So you finally make the account and you are like "Ogaaaaay! Finally the account is open. Admissions are open in the school of loooove. Bring on the ladies I saay.. Where my ladies at? (10 seconds later)....still zero messages?...(2 minutes later)....zero messages? Nobody loves me!" And at that moment you'll lose control and send your Swaraha account link to everyone on WhatsApp.
     I would like to take this moment to say sorry to all the people who I sent my Sarahah account and a thanks for the people who resisted the urge to block me. It's even worse when people send their account to you and they'll be like "cool. You send a message to me also" and you'll be like "shit! More work!"
      Now after what feels like 2 centuries later the messages will come. And it's not all candy, unicorns and compliments as you think. Yes there are people who compliment you. And there are a Group of people who use this opportunity to say the worst things about you. That's kinda chill. That's just how normal Saturday night with the guys are. What really pisses me off is the "constructive" messages. People giving you advice. "You should be more this" or "to should change this". You want go angry and tell that person to mind his business but then you realise that you cant... because you kinda asked for it. So overall itll be like an rollarcoaster ride of ego for you. You'll first be happy with yourself, feel sad, compliment your existence and at the end of reading all your messages you will compliment trying out meth.
                     The worst you can get is threats. I got one which was like "I haven't forgotten you. I swear if I catch you I won't leave you".  (I said that in the most censored possible manner). So whenever someone threatens me the first thing I think I'm my head is "ok which girl could it be?" Oi. It's not what you think it is. The girl won't send it to me. What happens is I never get into problems but the only problems I get into is I would have talked to the girl that the guy was stalking and your girl wouldn't even like him but he'll come to kill me. So he had an option to other make her like him...or threaten to kill anyone who goes near her. Option b is obviously here. "If I can't get her! Nobody will! Nooobody!" *Running on street hitting himself on how head*
         Girls it's the same thing except they get waaaaay more messages. Many Will be sweet but at point they will just be downright creepy! And that girls won't even want to talk about it
Me: so what creepy messages you got?
Girl: creepy messa.....er...what are you talking about? Er....hey that's a nice shirt
Me:why are you changing the topic? And why thanks! My parents hate it but I'm glad you have good taste.
     Some people will be posting the messages they got of people saying bad things about them and they'll be like "whatever you say I don't care!" If you didn't care then why are you posting it!? I'll be reading all this in the bathroom in the bathroom at 7 in the morning thinking "what shit is this?!"
  It'll be like a Big grade version of Celebrities read mean tweets
                      Some girls will post the message of a guy proposing to you and they'll be like "That's so sweet. It'll be so nice to know who you are!" Time to quote the famous line in star wars........"ITS A TRAP!!!!!"
              So if i am to give a verdict whether to download the app or not. I would say. First get a personal assistant to open your account to delete all the bad messages and then double check it and then give to you to read it.
        Verdict: blue whale for your pride!