Dr Kaushiks 1st Medical Emergency!

HI everyone! 1st things 1st! HAPPY DIWALI to everyone! LIGHT EM UP! Its been such a festive week. This week has all been about crackers..sweets...new clothes..diabetes! I just love this time of the year! I had a brilliant time at an intercollege last week. i wanted to tell about my experience but before i got there you wont believe what happened yesterday! I was in my 1st medical emergency situation! So read carefully.....here is my case sheet!

Ok im at my native place! .its a small village which is a 4 hr drive from Coimbatore. and i was there with a mission on my hand. Nomatter what the situation is...eat aaaall the food there and then only leave! I call it "mission hog attack! so as "mission hog attack" was through its initial stages (i was hogging biriyani for lunch...actually you cant say lunch because i was eating for soo long i definately crossed lunchtime) Me and my cousin were eating and suddenly we hear a *BANG* noise and suddenly i can see my sister slide right into the floor. At that moment i thought......nothing. i was too focussed on eating that i didnt even give it a second thought.What actually happened was my sister was really hyper and she was jumping all over the place and she wanted to jump through the door and she kinda...er...misjudges gravity and SMACK! She banged the top of the door like a footballer trying to header a ball! So she was lying down and my sister was shouting "Aaaaah my head! ouch! Aaargh! etc etc!" Me and my cousin are still eating and just looking at her. I was chewing a small chicken piece at that point and told my cousin "you go do something"  and hes like  "no! u go. im eating! (yeah..you can see we are related). She then turns and shes bleeding like some action hero in a climax scene. Shes shouting "omg! im bleeding!" and the next second we both shout "omg! shes bleeding!" My cousin ran to get my mum, and my aunt went to get a towel.....and i was licking my fingers! what? I was really concerned and i wanted to run and help but 1st things 1st! and as a doctor one must wash his hands and i was hungry too! I then ran to the sink, washed my hand, raaaan to the scene of action and looked up and was going to say "Alright! Doctors in the house! Nobody Panic! Im her ......" Noone was there! They had already got to the car and left!

So i realised i was the only one in the house. Just looked left and right. Sat down and just brushed my hair back and leaned back against the chair and looked up into the fan. Closed my eyes and thought to myself "ok...theres nothing you can do now...they've gone!...*opening eyes*..might as well continue eating" another voice in my head was like "wait a minute! The last thing u need right now is yr mum walking in with yr injured sister and seeing you eating so just wait till yr mum...wait a minute! Hou the hell did i reach the kitchen? and why am i serving myself biriyani!?" Ya! I just acted subconsciously to my instincts! So i got the biriyani..and was vatching some tv and then suddenly i hear the car come! Im like "Oh shit! They back!" I threw the biriyani from the plate.....into my mouth! Threw the plate into the kitchen...raaaan outside! and quickly changed my face into a worried face (acting ma!) and....it turned out to be my grandpa! Hes giving me an expression like"what on earth could this boy be worried about? I think he must be waiting for lunch"

So when i told my grandpa about the accident he asked "how come you didnt go?" me:"er...someone has to see the house! i mean we cant just leave it open!" and then my Grandfather started his flashbacks about how he had accidents and he was bleeding so much and he walked back home...*screen turning all black and white*..and the doctor saw him and ask...*yawn*. well it was a pretty cool story! would have been even better if i listened to the full thing! I think since at that time blogs didnt exist and so sadly he has to repeat the same story to everyone over and over again!

20minutes and 4 stories later my mum and sister came along with my uncle . Thankfully nothing happened to her.Just a cut and a single stitch it took! My mum vas like "looks like kaushiks been waiting outside the full time outside without eating"....me: ;-)

MARATHON MADNESS!!!

ow! ah! *slovly sitting on the couch* Coimbatores a pretty quiet city. Thats good and bad in a way. People from lively places like chennai or Bangalore just love a fev days rest in Coimbatore whearas residents complain about the lack of activity. So on sunday they conducted the yearly Coimbatore Marathon! there was different parts to it. The 5km run..the 10km run and the 21.1km run. I ran the 21.1.km one.....just in case u didnt hear it -21.1km! Dont forget the .1! Yes...i know im showing off! My head is telling me..."stop saying 21.1km! Be bloody modest atleast once in yr life!" but my feet are like "shut up! Easy for you to say! You werent moving for 2 hours non stop! Thats 3 weeks of doctors hospital rounds!" (my gawd! i suck at medical comedy! How does my dad do it!?) and as for my knees they saying....nothing! because i cant feel my knees!!....i think my knees are in a coma! I know what u guys are saying "yr a doctor..fix yourself!" ya...i can smell the sarcasm from here!

My dad and sis ran the 5km and so they dropped me at 4:30 and there wen everyone was doing stretches....i was busy taking selfies! Another question is what place i got. Finished it in a pretty decent of 2 hours! so a small self obsessed part of me says i finished in the top 50. what? its an instinct! But there were athletes who must have been training for months (i mean...its 10 grand prize money) and also there were some people who came all the way from Hyderabad called the "Hyderabad runners society" wearing yellow t shirts. There were running shouting at random people "Thank you for your support! or "Thank you for the protection police saab!" Police:".......?!" I was like "not bad! atleast they getting their travel moneys worth!"

For me 10km went easily! oh i forget to say...i dont have a vehicle in college! Its because there are enough problems at the house and i cant really help at this stage. The least i can do is not be a pain in the ass! So i never had an argument at house regarding a vehicle! Look on the bright side...all those years if walking finally paid off! So after some time I thought "Chi! we going to finish!? thats all?! this is wat all the buildup was about?! Easy pa! hmm..if i practice maybe i can go for the champio...*seeing sign which says 10km to go*...NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Song selection is very important...if anyone going for marathons..follow this- when i started i started listening to slow melodies like "mirrors" by Justin Timberlake (beautiful song) so that i relaxes me and even if i wanted to run faster...i didnt! when my legs were slowly getting tired i started listenin to a bit faster songs. Intro songs from Tamil movies are really good. Makes you feel all cool! Youll be imagining yourself running and flowers falling from the sky....people playing drums on the side..hundreds of background dancers copying the same...er...running step. So there was 1km to go and i was like almost drained and thats when i used my trump card! my Red button! The secret weapon -"Rocky theme song!!" - Gotta fly now! Im not kidding....i kept on slowly picking up the pace and the last part i sprinted!

Everyone was walking out of breath slooowly  like spongebob out of water and suddenly i come running full speed like my ass is on fire! The announcers were like "OMG look at him! Hes running like he wants to kill someone!"

what really motivated me was wenever i saw some old dude or some uncle running i get a vision of him giving me a lecture like "chi? thats all you can run?!...if i was your age i would whoop yr ass so bad that yr mums got to come pick up yr pieces on the road!" after getting that vision ill be like "Ive had enough lectures in my life!!! SPAAAAARTA!! RUUUM....*cough* i mean....RUUUUUN!"

It was a brilliant sight after it finished..some students did a flashmob (Kaushik jealous!) People were announcing about their lost car keys or wives on the mike...old people were celebrating after finishing so much that even the prize winner would have been jealous of them! Such a brilliant experience! Cant wait for the next marathon!

Burning The Dance Floor!

ok im really into dancing! its like my stage thing. Im not like a typical college student who "just wants to try dancing bcos college life is coming to an end" (by the rate im studying...ive got a looong time for that to come) Heres a small picture gallery of all my performances. Ive done more but ive lost the pictures.

PIMS 2013
My first solo dance was in pims 2013 but i didnt get the picture. i have a pic of the dance team. This is a pretty big deal bcos my college hasnt taken part in the intercollege dance for ages. I even believe this is the first time. It was a rough road but it was worth it

LOCAL PERFORMANCE
This picture was my 2nd solo dance. This took place in a local dance show in Chidambaram called oxygen tent. (kickass hair no?)

AD SHOOT
This picture is the shooting for an ad for the dance team im a part off called "BREZEE BOUNZERS" The full video is here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFuXWqq5HYI

Ive taken part in a few adaptunes in other colleges but i dont have the pics. I danced a solo in PIMS 2014 and i got the video and i got the photos....but i lost my phone...yiii!

PICTEM 2014
This was a intercollege in Karaikal.....here i performed a group dance with the dance group BREZEE BOUNZERS. A quick but power packed performance!

ADRENA 2014
This photo was taken in an intercollege called ADRENA 2014 in Sri Venkateshwara Medical College. This is me dancing the solo dance

This is the costume

And this is me dancing the Adaptunes

COLLEGE CULTURALS
In my college Culturals i conducted the literary events  and i kinda danced for minute to fame (which i won) and when they asked me to dance for the second time i brought my dance team as a surprise

My professor realised i was good at dance so i became a commercial for the show so everytime the crowd get restless between events. Itll be like "Kaushik! Go Dance! Quick! Do something stupid"
2nd day of literary events

This is me dancing the Solo dance in College Culturals (which i won...my god i show off a lot!)

And this is me dancing the Adaptunes in the Culturals which i won (forgive me for my lack of modesty but fuck u! its my blog!)

Hopefully theres a lot more performances in my future so.....TO BE CONTINUED.........

Gangs of Chidambaram!!

My place is pretty lively. Chidambaram I feel is an inspiration for half the cliché tamil gangster movie! I mean come on…some college students act like that can u imagine how the original gangsters must be like? Once again im not kidding about what im saying! This really happened! And no I don’t have any photos! U never know who uses the internet nowadays! (hehe! Picture some 5 local guys sitting with aruvals reading the blog right now)

Bombs away? Fail!

A news spread in my place about a bomb blast in a house in Chidambaram! This freaked me out a lot because i thought bomb blasts were only in metropolitan cities and also who'll bomb Chidambaram?! My friend was in that street and so wen I asked him about it he was like “hi da! Heard about the blast uh? Told u my street has everything!” (ya an old lady got murdered last week but lets keep that story for another time) then I realized why the fool was smiling. The house wasn’t the target! The guys were  making it and it blew up by accident! .........:I :I

Hehe. Can u imagine what could have happened in that house? It would hv been just like dexters laboratory “ooooh what does this button do?” or like the road runner show “meep meep! BOOM!” my suspect is there must have been some idiot there or some deaf guy and the scene would hv been like

Guy 1:whatever u do…do not pull the red wire!

Guy 2: the lead wire? Relax! I wont! I just pulled this red colou…..BOOOM!!!!!

Door Delivery

Later I found out that the bomb as to attack another gang. So in retaliation the other gang beheaded the main leader and attacked the henchmen. I cant believe I just typed that. Well that was a foolproof  plan! I don’t how that could have gone wrong! Imagine….in the bucket they’ll have the head of some Chingy dude…boss :I cant believe it! U had 1 job! Just 1 job! Cant u do that properly?!

So these guys at 3 in the morning went to sri lakshmi hotel  (I just love the parotas there) kept a bucket with the head inside and threw bombs at witnesses and left. Sounds like some evil video game! So next day wen they open the restaurant what is the first thing they see? Yap! Justice!

I really wish there was interaction with this because I want to ask all the people reading this blog “if u wake up in the morning and find a bucket with a wanted gangsters head In it. What will u do?” mail yr answers to balu5409@gmail.com or just contact me on facebook “Kaushik Balasubramanian” (picture the rowdies reading this “we got him now boys!”)

If it was me…look at the bucket…..smile……then call my wife saying “honeeey! Package for u!”

Look whos back!

Hey. Yeah. This is kinda my q for me to go all “im back. Im not going anywhere”  like I did some 4 posts ago and then I disappeared again. It was like rocks wwe return in 2011. He said hes not going anywhere and now hes missing again. So coming back to the point. I first wanna say thanks for the overwhelming response. It sounds cool but the truth is I thought nobody will read it and people actually read it. So im kinda promised myself that ill focus more on the blog.

When I first started this. I made it like thinking wat other people would like. U know “is this funny?” or “what will the children think?” or “is it rascist?” but now…….i  don’t give a fuck! I consider this my pensive. Just put whatever thoughts I feel and look at them weeks later and think…what da fuck was wrong with me! Also I fe…….u know what? No more talk! No need! Enough reintroductions.  Lets get back to the blog!