I have been a side observer to the medical profession. The reason is because i have been jobless for quite sometime and Ii have made a discovery of a disease which i like to call "CRRI sickness". Let me explain...(cool
my first medical journal).
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For the people who dont know - CRRI is the fancy name for a one year internship which people do after they finish mbbs. As for the full form.....do not ask me.
Now this starts first in social media when people pass their final year exams (wonder how that feels like) and start putting bullshit like " call me doctor from now" or "i am officially a doctor now. I would like to thank my family and all the people who supported me. A shout out to..." etc etc. You get the point. Good lord! Meryl streep didn't even such a long speech after she won an oscar.
I cant argue with that. Thats true. Once you finish your MBBS you are a doctor and that status is totally right. (My status is going to be damn cool.....but first i need to pass.) You do some cool stuff like put bandages and give prescriptions but you also have to do all the dirty work in the ward. Its like whats the difference between a ward boy and a CRRI........atleast the ward boy knows what he's doing! *ba dum biss*
Now here is when the problem starts. With the public and yr drug addicted friends start treating them as a doctor. It gets to their head. They start thinking new stuff like "Ok...im not a student anymore. Im a doctor now. I need to start being serious and serve the community" like some kid who has to say a speech in a fancy dress competition.
So they start showing these strange bursts of sincerity which they never used to have. Theyll finish a full day duty but instead of going home they'll then go and sit in another department for the night shift. Even though they dont have to! You can see them smiling but the eyes will be blank and dead.
I had a friend (im not kidding) who would just go and sit in the casualty ward every time he finishes his duty because hes interested. The other doctors were tempted to break his leg so they can really admit him in the ward.
Some nuts will volunteer to take classes for the juniors. It'll all go well but you should see the expression he gives when the juniors ask him question. He'll look as if he got shot in the food in the middle of a funeral. You wont know whether hes going to cry or run out of the hall.
Some dumb nuts never take off their stethoscopes off to show that they are a doctor. I mean bloody never. Theyll wear it in the tea shop, in the car or when they at a movie. Heck! Youll seem them eating in a restaurant with a steth on. What the fuck are you doing with that? Are you going to see if that chicken your eating has a heartbeat?
Now dont get me wrong i have nothing against sincerity. I think its brilliant that people have such interest to the profession. I can feel all the nerds glaring at this post! Just let me finish. CRRI is bloody tiring. They will do their best to get every work out of you. Night duties, 48 hours shift, missing lunch and bad coworkers. On top of that if you show your sincerity and work more than what they give....Youll die. You...will...die. You brain will be sending signals to your body saying "Shut it down! Shut it down! It's going to blow! Abandon ship! Somebody switch off the heart"
Nobody is able to maintain that level of sincerity for a year. After some 3 months he will say "I cant do it! I need to relax!" Next thing you know you will find your CRRI friend walk into your room holding a scotch whisky drinking it straight from the bottle saying "Fuck this shit! Im out! I cant do it!" the friend will be like "I didnt know you drink" and hell be like :"WELL I DO NOW!!"
Statistics have shown that people start drinking more when they start interning
Also after they return back to normal oriented self that's when they message their non medical friends from other colleges like "hey...im sorry. work load like mad. now im free. how have you been?" and then her friend will reply "bitch! you missed my marriage!"
This is the reason why people go all depressed in medicine. Not able to handle the pressure. I wouldnt blame the person. I blame the society for telling "your a doctor. Your next to god! Act like that!" Next to god my ass. With just an MBBS degree you cant do jack. You got to study more then only you can do something. The only way you can serve with just an MBBS degree....is if you work in McDonalds.
Infact after getting your MBBS that's when it gets worse. You got to study for years to just get the post graduate seat. So whenever REAL senior doctors see CRRIs tell that they are doctor they'll be like "Dumb bastards. Its only just starting for them. muahahaha"
Have you seen all those HODs and professors who tell you to forget everything else in life and focus only on studies. You know why? Because the old hags are jealous of us! Seriously! I think thats the same feeling some parents have when they kill their kids who fall in love. (haha. more honour killing comedy) I mean think about it. They all old having to deal with pain in the ass students in the day and then deal with a pain in the ass family in the night. Then infront of them they see all these lively young interns having fun in front of them and when they not having fun....theyll be planning on when to have fun next. So his first instinct will be shoot them in the head....but he cant so he tries to kill the spirit instead. Less bloodshed. More damage.
My main point. (which im pretty sure ive said before) You cant single track focus on medicine. This is huge...insane and its never ending! Its like a mix of an alien documentary and a bad one night stand. You'll be confused and f*cked at the sametime! You need to have other hobbies or experiences or joys to distract you from the madness and the stress. Its either that or a visit to a psychiatrist (trust me...those guys charge a lot)
Its like the great saying bacardi and smirmoff once said (or to be correct.. make people say) "Having a few days extension or a few arrears wont cause any harm. Only if you dont have any of those.....It'll kill you. Cheers!"
