Medicine fresher year!

Hmmmm. Ghosts, College. Looks like ive deviated a bit from the medical posts. So guess ill get back to medical topics. This is something medical students can relate to. Here im going to tell about every year in medicine and what are the phases we go through that stage

                                 1ST YEAR

    Aaaah. First year! Everyone enters fresh into college. Minds blank. Not a single own thought. Everyone will be brainwashed by the surrounding public
Majority will be told by the public and parents about how medicine is a noble profession and that you got to be serious, act like a doctor, focus only on studi......*yawn*...you get the picture.

The parents of most girls will hear about active sex lives of many colleges and will freak out and start saying about how you should careful about boys, not use facebook or whatsapp, not to talk to boys, not to look at boys, not to use objects touched by a boy, sniff the room before coming to see if theres a scent of a boy, if a boy accidently touches your arm you have to wash your arm or either cut it off. Hehe. Its in that fear that they put the girl in girl school but uunfortunately and grudgingly theyll have to put her in a college with the opposite sex.
Thats why girls colleges are high in demand. For total isolation from all forms of testosterone! Its very ironic because its those girls who get a boyfriend first. I dont know why they make such a big deal about it. Its not like the parents are going to kill them hahahaha.....oh wait. maybe they do.

Then there are the guys who would have seen movies like 22 jump street and expect some 3 girls in bikinis to jump on them as soon as they enter college and theyll be complaining about how college is boring....but they would have never talked to a girl.

Guys get the talk about how there are bad demons such as alcohol and cigarettes and that you should never go near them. Ill give those guys 3 years max. In third year hell be like "Ill give it a taste. Thats all" *half an hour later with the fourth bottle* "Im not drinking...*hic*....im just having a taste.

But do you know who is most excited for first year to start? The seniors! A fresh new crop of juniors for us to try flirting with......fail miserable and get a haircut and act like nothing happened. 

The first classes include a lot of neck exercises. All guys will be looking left and right again and again. Seeing if any of the girls are good and if it was worth the capitation cash. Oh girls look at the guys too but you know...they cant make it obvious that they looking at guys. You know....showing that they good girls. So picture their eyes are like a DSLR secret level agent camera. Theyll be looking down and then suddenly theyll look up for some half a millisecond and then scan the full class by then. Take a photographic pic in their mind. Then the agents...chi...i mean girls go back to cls and they discuss about the data they collected.

How do people start talkin to eachother if they don't meet face to face? Simple. You guys seem horror movies. Like they walk into an abondoned room and then suddenly get an abrupt text from am unknown number "I've seen you before. Im someone you know or 'Guess who?". This is the exact scenario that happens. The guy will get the girls number. Heaven knows how. And will message "Im your classmate. Guess who." Like some serial killer Freddy Krueger wannabe. And the girls reaction will be "How the hell did he get my number. I just got my new sim half an hour back". 

So thats why we have cases of girls changing their number some once a month. So when they recharge they netpack shell be getting a new number. So boys.....dont jump too much if you get her number. 

And gents be very careful if a girl sends you a random message. It could be one or yr friends messaging you from an unknown number. A friend of mine even proposed to a girl who then later turned out to be his friend messaging from another name. So trick is you first talk formally like she an adopted sister (but never use that s word). Call her once. Confirm shes female. Then attackk!! Begin the flirting

     First year there is that huge hype about getting a girl friend. The people who have a girlfriend are officiall considered....cool! Everyone will be wooorshiping them. You'll have people saying "Its been 6 months and i still don't a girlfriend". The worst are the first people who get laid.....chi i mean....get commited. Jackasses! Theyll do anything to show the world he had a girlfriend. Me:"Dude coming for a movie?"...friend:naaa dude i have to talk on the phone to my girlfriend for the full night. Me:".....*resisting urge to punch him*....A simple no would be enough."
I hate it when they talk full night on the phone. Picture me having a bad stomach. So i wake up half asleep and i put my shorts on and im walking to the bathroom at 3 in the morning and theres this dude talking on the phone like some unemployed ghost.
     The party scene is pretty cute. There maybe a small group who drink but are terrified that people will know. So theyll be hiding from even the guys in hostel. Even guys would overreact and advise them or even call their parents. Some girls even stop talking with the guy because she heard he drinks.
 Guy:i killed someone...
Girls:its ok. Im there for you...
Guy:Oh i also had a bacardi glass yesterday....
Girl:....Did i mention that your like a brother to me.
Ok i guess this wraps up our blog tod...."WAIT A MINUTE

me: What on earth...Who the hell are you?

voice: Im a full qualified doctor. Doctor Escobar

Me: Then what the f*ck are you doing in my blog?

Dr: You seem to have mentioned only about the relationship problems and drinking issues. Is college just girls and alcohol for u?

me:................maybe

Dr:What about the main academic parts of first year? What bout Physiology?

me:........ive never heard of that Pokemon before

Dr:no excuses. you are going to tell all about the subjects in first year and some advice about it....before you forget it by next saturday night

Me:.....fine you asked for it. The three subjects which you will be learning in 1st year are

1.Anatomy:
This is the study of all the gears,knobs and parts in the human body. You'll have a live dead bo...*gettin slapped in back of head* .. ouch!... i mean kedavar in front of you and you got to identify all the parts. Remember how in school they asked us to cut up a frog and identify the parts. Same thing! Its like that dead frog got a kiss from a princess and became a prince....a dead zombified prince with a lot of preservative smell on it.
The biggest thing we learn from Anatomy is the immunity against all gore scenes in movies. Im not kidding. I bet before you joined mbbs you would have freaked out seeing a woman cut his arm off in the Saw 6 movie. After you join medicine you'll be pissing off your non medical friends by sayong dialogues like "You see all the blood as he screams in pain? Thats because he got cut on the Radial artery. I got that question during my viv..".. Friend:"Dude! Shut up!"

Biochemistry:
This subject i like to call as the trippy one. This is a stoners paradise. You got to take some chemicals and add same sample. Those will blue in colour. You heat it up and boom! It becomes green! Trippy na! Anyone stoned will be like "Duuuuuude! do it again!" Its kinda the same as chemistry except this happens in the body and also you won't be able to score that much weed in school. During your practicals when your mixing the test tubes just think that you are making the worlds greatest cocktail...... with someone elses urine

Para....chi..i mean...PHYSIOlOGY:
This is the hardest of the 3 in my opinion. The worst part isn't the viva or the mind boggling questions. The wooorst part is the practicals. You have to prick yourself with a needle. Take a bit of your blood and use it in the test.
Take my bloo.....are you out of your mind? Do you know scary it is to prick your finger? As soon as the needle goes to my finger ill be like "I cant do it. Screw this shit! Im out!"
Theres an easy way to do it. Find someone who haaaates you and ask him to prick your finger. He'll first smile and take the needle. Then hell stop for a second and consider stabbing you in the heart with the needle. But then hell think about the high sodomic rape cases in jail and so hell change his mind and prick your finger.... multiple times.
   Damn. Trust me. Im sure nobody can stab themselves in the chest like the movies.Our population can't even prick their finger. Imagine one of those couples...
boy:For ill do anything. If you leave me. ill just take a knife and stab myself
Girl:Balls! I saw you in physiology class! You cried after you got your finger pricked!

Well that sums it up for first year medicine. So guys stay tuned because next we have about 2nd year in medicine. That is..whenever im stuck at posting or in a long bus journey or a Romantic movie.