Third times the medical charm!

  When it comes to a franchise they always say the 3rd part isn't successful. But I wouldn't say it for this case (Medical case...hehe..*Ba bam biss*). 3rd year is like the promised land. You know in the movie "Waterworld" like how everyone is stuck in water and they are promised that there is dry land somewhere. Like that while we are drowning in the sea of second year (The poisonous oil leak of the the sea is pathology) and we are promised that there is hope and happiness in the form of 3rd year.
     And ill admit it to you that you are correct. 3rd year classes usually finish in the morning. A hectic day during 3rd year is  college past 12. Cross the noon mark that means we've crossed our energy mark . Flat! Someone needs to carry us out.
     Now you must think that in this free time people must be travelling places and maybe getting new secret identities and go saving the world. Aaaactually no. 3rd year is famous for ...nap time! The cocaine of 3rd year. For the full 3rd year (and my extended time also) I would have seen the afternoon sun some 3 times....because i would have slept in the morning in those csses
     Now lets get to the important part about 3rd yea...
Studious student: "How to study?"
Me:" Nooo! The dating! and who let you in this blog?
    Ok When it comes to any college the dating scenario is defined by what i would call the "Heartlift Mechanism" (Ive already got a copyright on the name)
           The definition is....The more as the your seniority increases the availability of your classmates will decrease but at the sametime the number of juniors will increase so we have more chances with juniors. At the same time the more immediate the junior is...the more their availability decreases.
    Didn't understand shit right? Thats how definitions are supposed to be. But let me explain. As we grow up the class girls get slowly either commited with a boyfriend or they are sick of guys but at the same time a new set of juniors come for us to try (ans majority fail miserably)...and next year same thing will happen to those juniors but then the new set comes. Hehe. I Can see you guys looking at me like "The amount of thought he put into this....Imagine he did this for academics"
        What i personally dont like about 3rd year is that people complain that theres so much free time and that they are bored. Who complains about too much free time?! Do you know how ashamed Phineas and Ferb would be of you guys! You can do anything you want...I cant be sitting giving examples for every thing you can do in your free time liiiiike
l. Become a crime fighting hero until Ben Affleck buys the rights to the movie adaption of you.
2.Become a drug addict and finish rehab and come in time for the theory exam
3. Build a rocket ship and then hide it so that you can name it after your girlfriend so you can get laid
4. Run for President of America (Heck! You dont need any experience for that)
5. Water a plant so it becomes   beanstalk and walk to.....OK! im sure you get the point. We have free time!

What I love is..people will complain that they bored in 3rd year. Then theyll complain theres too much work in Final Year. (Well God sometimes hears your prayers and then make sure you get a lot of free time in Final year....when you fail and do nothing for 6 months)
       Now when it comes to studies part *rolling eyes* Moving on from studying second year to third year is like fighting a crusier weight after fighting a huge heavyweight (After a few knockouts). The crusierweight will be way easier to fight than the heavyweight but if we are too overconfident then the crusierweight will whoop our ass.l! Same thing here. After seeing those huge books and wen you see books which you are....er...able to lift. You'll be relieved and itll be easier but that doesnt mean you should get too cocky. Otherwise the crusierweight ass whooping will be done by your parents
      Hmmmm... now all the subjects of second year can be compared with that of the kids you meet in a school playground when you are small. Its like this..

ENT - The Bully!:-
               ENT can be the subject which you can guys can like and be interested in but for no reason that department is just mean to you. Just plain mean. no Reason! Why is your shirt black? Dont wear jeans. No dangly earrings. Why didnt you bring a note? Call your parents (These are real excerpts from my ENT class....except for the earrings). So even though you can confidently pass the subject but since they scare you so much it tends to just lose your confidence and you find it hard.
    Same way with  the bully in the playground. He can be friends with you and also you can even take him on in a fight but the way he intimidates you just scares you and it makes you lose confidence. Also there will be no proper reason to why hes such an asshole to you

Opthal - The emo kid:-
      Opthal is a subject which people dont mmsweat too much. You give it a decemt read and some interest you can pass it. If you really don't study jack then you'll fail. Just like the emo kid. Hell be minding his business doing his gothic weird shit. He wont harm you and if you talk nice he'll be your friend. Buuut if you piss him off then that crazy mf will just stab with some hidden knife from God knows where! Thats the samething with failing ophthal

Community Medicine- The backstabbing friend:-
        CM is like your homie. Your Road Dog. Your pal. From first year to 3rd year we all loved community medicine. Going late and getting attendance. Field trips. Writing dumb answers about which toilets do mosquitoes bite people. And weee love cutting community medicine because they won't say anything but when we go for the exam theyll suddenly say that you have no attendance. You'll think "I don't get it. I got a decent attendance. I checked yesterday." Its ony then to your shock and horror do you realise that they add up all the attendance from first year to third year and you realise you didn't go at all in first year and that the class you used to love so much just f*cked you up. The same way your best friend steals your girlfriend or even worse steals your favourite action figure. The horror!
       
Third year is often filled with a warning...."Enjoy now. Because final year you are screwed...Take a good look at that smiling face in the mirror.. because it'll vanish next year and youll be putting posters all over town asking "Have you seen my smile?". Thats an interesting point. Ill tell about that next post......

Essential tips for the exams by Kaushik ;)

Oh right. I can see everyone panicking seeing the title. The irony is waaay too much. but i have seen people give all this tips during exams and some people even get paid for those tips. So i thought...let me have a go at this....So here you are

Buy The Books
 Trust me. This is a pretty important step. Ive had experience.....

Research with seniors:-
   Seniors love showing off that they passed. They will just find any opportunity to give you advice about how to pass the exam...even if you dont want to.
My friend who passed the exam before me would come and ask "Kaushik! This topic? Veery easy! Ill teach this for you" and ill be like "Stay the F*ck away from me before i spray this mosquitoe repellent in your mouth. I'd rather fail than listen to you".... Unfortunately the examiner took that dialogue seriousl! But seriously you should listen to a point or 2 what they say
  You must think "Yaaaaa. go to the distinction holders and ask what question should I mark?" No no no no no. Don't you ask them. They wont mark questions. They'll mark books! By the time you finish studying what they marked the exam will finish and results would have come!
     You need to go and ask the guys who don't study that great. The guys who make you think "Look at him. Idiot cant even tie his shoelace and he somehow passed pathology. Chai! How? Why?" Go and ask me...chi...i mean go and ask him how he did it and he will explain every loophole like which books the questions come,  which day they won't be stric. or which perfume scent the Internal likes or where you can steal the snacks given for the external. All the life hacks we need.

Go to the library:-
   Libraries have an amazing phycological effect. When you are in the library you have to mark the time you come and go. Soooo if you are in your room and if you sleep for half an hour or even you go to the bathroom for some 45 minutes (....hey. You have no idea what they mix in restaurants nowadays) youll feel terrible that you wasted so much time buuuuut if you are in the library and you sleep by accident or eat a snack, pass out or make your friend pass out or see a movie for how many hours...you won't feel bad because there is written evidence of you studying in the library register ;). You should WhatsApp that to your parent every night.
      Another simple reason is because the girls are there. Heey. I would choose sitting in an air conditioned room with girls than have those gay night study sessions where I'm sitting with a group of guys in the middle of the night wearing minimal clothing due to those God damn night power cuts!

Group study with a guy/girl (Hey. not like theres nothing wrong with that):-
    Because....why not? If that doesnt make people study then what will?!
     There are have been so many miracle stories about how the guy who doesnt study gets a distinction because of help from a girl......( and sometimes the girl fails but lets not focus on those minor details like that)

Grow a beard:-
     This is for both boys and girls. I mean if you are going to be studious you might as well look the part!
 Friend:Dude have you studied?
Me:"Oi! Look at my face! Isnt it obvious?! Now have you seen my book anywhere?"

Exam beards > no shave November

Control thy caffeine:-
    You know whats worse than alcohol tolerance? Coffee tolerance!
    The more coffee you drink everyday. The effect of coffee will stop. The whole point of drinking coffee is so that we can study late in the night .Instead this happens!
 You know how we have that habit of drinking coffee in midnight to study. That fail habit in which we plan to go at 12. Start getting ready at 11 45. Call everyone one by one and well go at 12 15. Drink slower than how British people drink tea and then take a few rounds around the same round discussing about how f*cked we are. Confirm that everyone is in the same level as us (If you tell that you've studied then they'll kick you out of the car) and then go back...realise that you sleepy because of the car trip. Convince youself that youll wake up early and put the alarm so that yll sleep for some 45 min and next thing youll wake up at 7 and you'll think "Ok...exam in 4 hours. Need to think of a plan to change my identity and leave the country"

Plan Your breaks:-
    Nomatter what you say you cant keep studying for months. There will be those days when you are sick of studying! You just want to burn that book, break a library window, travel back in time and strangle the author of the book. Those are the days you decide to take a day off. Im saying why dont we make that day count! Ive seen people take a day off on wednesday whearas a concert or a trip plan will be on Friday but they won't go saying "studying".
    The psychological hack in this is whenever you go out there is small voice in you which is tearing you apart saying "omg! I have an exam and here i am at a yo yo honey singh concert!" (In my defense it was totally worth it) and so that fear can be used to make you study even harder the next day by the time you are back.
     The only drawback about this idea is....

Gossip Gossip Gossip:-
           The most important quality required for an exam is  confidence. Once you have the confidence that you can pass half the work is done. But during an exam time if you are just walking around with a smile or just going to a shop for a snack people will start asking you dumb stuff like "Are you even studying for the exam? It doesn't seem like that. Looks like your enjoying yourself only"
   So what you have to do is bring put you acting genes. Whenever people ask you what's up and how preparation is going just start complaining like some grandpa who hates ipads "Omg!  Theres so much! Ive tried a revision but i cant even pass the contents. I think im going mad! Im not going to make it. If i kill myself tell my parents i love them and that they should ask refund from exam fees." Then people will be like "Ok he seems tensed. He must be studying" Retarded theory right? Stupidy must be fought with stupidity
      Parents you should give a bipolar kind of update about your progress. Make it sound like your confident and screwed at the same time " Yaaa. theres so much... Haven't slept but i can pull it off. This is  subject where everyone fails but ddon't worry...im sure i can pass after a 3rd revision" (Translation: Dont kill me if i fail!)


Weight!:
      Many people tend to study at home. In a comfortable environment under the posters in their room. But the drawback  you study you become hungry. After you learn 2 pages you'll start hallucinating burgers. (Trust me this is more effective than weed) When you are at hostel you get hungry and you plan on where to go eat. Then you can hear your wallet speak "You keep feeding yourself! Why don't you feed me once in a while! Your broke again! Sit down and study! Whearas when you are at home....MUUUUUUUM!!!
    Your mother will then bring 2000 calories of "brain food" which will fill up and guarantee you sleep for half a day.
So whenever someone comes back from home from a study holiday theyll look fresh, faaat and i have an intact bowel system. and when you ask if they studied theyll be like "Nope...but i brought sweets from home"

Concentration:-
      The most essential of them all. We need to make sure that we are full focussed on our subject and that nothing should distract us. Nomatter what comes....*notification in Pokémon go*...oooh theres a charmander here. Ok ill see you guys later...*leaving the
room*