Surgery - Magic Medicos XXL

I like surgery better than medicine
*Collective gasps in the audience*
That's right! Yeah! I said it! It was one incident during my internship which made me make up my mind!

It was surgery posting and there were some 6 patients in the ward and after we finished a rather brief rounds me and all the senior doctors started walking somewhere. I'm like "Soooo Sir are we going to the other ward or to the OP" and my PG was like "First we go to the canteen!"

 That's all it took

I remember confronting my medicine PG after that "All those patients we had in the ward!! We had some 50 patients! Did you take me once to the canteen? No! Not a single thought about whether I was hungry it not! For the amount of cases I saw. I should have been taken to a candle light dinner on a daily basis!"

Trust me we take our refreshments seriously!
So me being me would keep on hogging all the food during our canteen visits like some tanned pig (regardless of the fact I did work or not). I kind of impressed them in a way. One girl would be really sincere and she didn't have much of an appetite though so they would be snapping at her like "ya ya. You can give that blood infusion to the patient. Don't just keep on asking random doubts like that in the canteen and disturb us ok?!. Can't you see Kaushik is eating?!"


Another incident in which I knew I was a surgeon was during Medicine rounds when we went to a patient and the PG was like "So in this patient you can hear the abnormal breath sounds. So Kaushik you try listening to it with your stethoscope."
Me: *slowly taking stethoscope from patients chest and putting it around my neck*.....sir I can't hear anything except my own thoughts saying "I feel stupid"
PG: Then your a confirmed surgeon!

Theres that common internet joke about how surgeons are people who do everything but don't know anything. And I'm reply to that all I can say is - We don't need to know anything else! We know the procedure and the required anatomy and that's all we need to know! As for all the other stuff that's why we have you other specialists!

Whenever I see the surgeons repeatedly keep calling physicians for medical opinions. I get this image of these big jocks in college who keep on forcing the nerds to do their homework or they'll beat them up

Now have you seen that scenario where there's this big school bully. And just when he is about to cause more havoc his mum calls him
"Ok boys we are going to that playground and kick all those nerds. Then we go and stick bubblegum on their hair and.....what mum? I have to come for tea? But MUUUUUUUUUM I was about to go play in the park....ok fine. I'll come *walking slowly while sulking*"

That is the same scene when it comes these surgeons and anaesthetists
"OK we can perform a explorative laporatomy on the patient and then we can excise the.....yes ma'am? Patient blood count is low? And loose stools? But MAAAAAAAAM we were about to shift the patient!...ok fine. We won't *walking slowly while sulking*

There are small joys when it comes to operations. Like after a long surgery you sit down and........ That's it. Sitting down!
You have no idea how good it feels.
And those snacks after a long surgery. Aaaah. Outdated samosa and sugarless coffee and never tasted so good.

You want to see something scary? After a long surgery. Tell your chief that there aren't any snacks....then smoke your last cigarette because that's the last thing you will say

These junior surgeons are so eager. They are like those new people in a gang who are eager to go on a mission "sir can I do it? Sir can I do it? I'm ready! I'm ready! I've got my knife sharpened" and they'll have to keep on working up the ranks. Making the cheif happy (and full). Then only he'll get the nod of approval

I know I'm making this sound very chauvinistic. Surgery sounds like its full of men (And ortho is full of men's men...sometimes litetally)
Hey. There are female surgeons too. Big surgeons too.
When I mean big I mean..... Big intimidating she hulks who will probably have more testesterone in their body than you.

So I would finish this by saying. Just like how some people join the police for the car chases and end up having a desk job.
If you became a doctor and want some action or some movement then I would stay away from medicine and join team surgery!
#civilwar