It was a cold dark night where there wasn't a single soul in a dark forest. An owl is hooting in the background and there are yes of wild animals shining in the background. Just like a scene from a Tim Burton movie The only people to walk this lonely scene was a male crri called Agnes and a female crri called Ansara
Agnes: "I really cannot believe we are actually going to a middle of a forest at this time"
Ansara: "oh shut up. Im a girl walking in the dark with you. So if someone should be worried. It's got to be me"
Agnes: "That is just low. So anyway where are we going?"
Ansara: "When a girl asked you to come out you just come running without asking any details. Typical you. But they said he'll be here somewhere. Waaait....
"Who?"
Suddenly in the darkness a wolf howling from behind and they both turn around and suddenly from behind a huge bonfire just emerges and on the side of the bonfire they see a grizzled up 20 year old with a wooden leg and torn up clothes formal clothes. On top of all that he's wearing a white coat with blood stains and other colours (we just hope is just paint) like he just murdered a rainbow. He sitting on top of a log and just stares in the distance. As they look into those eyes they see a total lack of sleep and they look of "I've seen way too much"
Agnes: "Well we better be happy that this is a blog because I'm sure we could never get the production cash for this scene"
Female: "Allow me to introduce you to strago and we are here....for our handover for OG posting"
Both of them sat huddled next to the fire as this stranger just sat feeding the lizard
Agnes: "Howdy!
Strago: *shouting* Look at you two! Enjoying life!!
Agnes:"ok why is this psychopath shouting?"
Ansara:" I think he lost his hearing. Must have heard too many loud noises"
Strago:" Thinking that you finished the hardest of postings! That you're crri life has seen the worst. Ooooh you guys have not seen the craziest side which medicine has to offer. You guys have definitely not gone to OG posting
Agnes: "Ok now that is just ridiculous. I finished my medicine posting. I have seen more than 80 cases in my medicine posting and I have slept for some 2 hours during the admission day so I am sure that had to be the hardest"
Strago: "Ooooooh the that little line of self consolation I was having too. I repeated those lies to myself over and over again! That I had seen medicine posting and that is the hardest as it can get. But what is normal work place psychology? They give you some work. You do it wrong and then they get angry with you. Naturally! Ok but in this scenario. They first shout at you....then they tell you what to do! At that point you won't be feeling bad that you did something wrong. You'll be like "what the f*ck just happened" or "am I on a prank show? Is this really happening?"
Ansara: "So how is the labour ward?"
Strago: "Oh you mean the chamber of horrors? Oh ya. That's what we call it because 1. It is a horrible place
And 2. Do you know how in harry potter there was a basilisk which would slither around and if you look into its eyes your dead. Well same here! You just by accident give eye contact to any of the PGs there you're dead! They'll somehow give you work!
Strago: Do you know that Sheela ma'am?
Agnes: oh she is just looking wow! She's the reason I had some attendence to write exam. I would go just too her
Strago: I had a crush on her...
Agnes: you are speaking on behalf of half the men in college
Strago: She is just wow!
Agnes: wow na wow!
Strago: double wow!
Agnes: so much wow that I can make dog noises all day "wowowoow...
Ansara: OMG! You shameless idiots! Shes married and has 2 kids.
Agnes and strago together:....so what's your point?
Ansara: wait a minute.....had a crush? Why the past tense? What happened?
Strago: *sigh* I used to like her until I entered the labour ward. And then i saw her shout there. I do not how that place changes a person like that. I swear to God I imagined her growing fangs and then her head would start spinning. I was so scared I was about to stab her with a crucifix. *Wiping tear* oh that was the day I started drinking.
Strago: Sometimes seeing some of these people who work in IT companies who keep on complaining about their work atmosphere. About how they changed company because they felt the wallpaper was dark or they felt the cabins were too small and majority of cases are because the good looking intern would have rejected them.
I want to take those choosy bastards and throw them into a labour ward and let them see what a work atmosphere really is!
Because in a labour ward it's like a bunch of screaming witches all sat in a room, rehearsed and then put a mike in front of them and tried singing rock music! It's that loud!
I'm not kidding. The patients are screaming in pain. The PGs are shouting at the patients,at the house surgeons...the nurses are shouting at the workers....the workers are shouting at the walls and the wheelchairs. It's like a competition to outdo eachother....hehe. and you thought pediatrics was loud! This posting didn't take my sanity...but it took my hearing!
*Suddenly Ansara takes her phone out*
Agnes: who are you flirting with?!
Ansara: nothing. My aunt just send a pic of her son. So cute na?
Guy: that's a boy?
Girl: strago! You see this *showing phone to him*
Strago: Aaaaah! Keep that away from me! Don't show it to me!
Ansara: what? How could you say that about him? He's so cute!
Strago: Not after you see where they come from!
Agnes: What an earthquake are you talking abou..... OooooOoooh. *Snatching phone from girl and throwing it away*
Guy: So how long do they let you go eat?
Strago: ahahahah! Oh that is a good joke! You really think that they will let you go eat while they don't eat themselves. I don't know who are more meaner. The PGs who don't let you eat....or the ones who tell you to go eat lunch at 4 o clock. By that time they would have started dinner preparation!
Now I want to say a quick story about a leeetle girl who just wanted to become a doctor. But by some twist of fate which was played by the devil itself she had no option but to become a gynaecologist. So that girl was smiling to all the patients to all her co-workers but we all knew that wasn't going to last long. Second year she had juniors to let out all that stress and she started feeling that smiling was a lot of hard work and she preferred losing her shit. By the time she reached final year she was so crazy even the Hulk was like "Shhhh. Calm down. You are crazy woman. Don't bite me!"
Agnes: Oh deary me. Is it because she took OG that she became all crazy and started shouting at people
Strago:.....no. thats just how every girl is when they grow up. Hahahaha!
Agnes:Hahahaha!
Ansara: Really? We are still doing those cliche "girls getting angry" jokes still?
Guy: who cares? It's 2018 and it's still funny!?
I remember (this really happened) I was putting an injection for a patient and behind a lady was screaming in labour pain. Suddenly she was like "I can't take this. I'm going home" and she got off the bed and she starting walking off. I'm like "oi! Whr is she going? I am not trained for this! There is no gynac book which has the chapter "what to do when your fully dilated pregnant patient walks from the bed" The worker just went to her and *phat* she slapped him and told her to go back to bed. After that I'm looking at the patient I was putting an injection on ".......planning on going anywhere? No? Good!"
I remember a situation (again this is true) where there were 3 ladies screaming at the same time fully pregnant on 3 different BDS and I'm standing in the middle of them pointing my fingers at them like a Mexican stand off saying "Go on...make a move. I dare you. I'm ready. Whoever comes first. This ward ain't big enough for all 3 of us"
Now how do you know the blood level of the patient?
Ansara: oh that's easy. You take their cbc level and...
Strago: such an amateur you are. These OG pgs have so much medical knowledge they will just look at a patient "hmmm. Ok looks a bit anemic. I'm sure she has some 9 level haemoglobin. Get her 2 units"
You'll be like "how the hell? Does this woman have inbuilt blood scanning vision? Even the terminator can't do that with his scanner!" It's a bit like the opera winfrey show "You get a unit blood! You get a blood! Eeeeveryone gets a unit blood!"
PG: She looks anemic! Give her a unit blood!
Girl: "wait what? I'm a crri!"
Pg:doesn't matter. Infuse a unit for her!
Also they think that getting blood is like buying a drink from a vendor machine. If you type your order you'll get it instantly. They don't know it's a pretty long process. So while you are walking to the blood bank they will keep on calling you like a diabetic patient who just wants his candy! "Did you get it? Did you? What?! Get it quickly! I need it! GET MY PRECIOUS CANDYYYYYY"
Ansara: OK THATS IT!
Agnes:.....oh shit!
Ansara: I did not travel all the way to the middle of a forest with this creep...(Guy: ya. I love you too).... to just listen to you telling cliche detoriating jokes about woman! We know that it is a highly sensitive speciality! I came here to get some tips about how to handle the labour ward! So you are telling me that or I will rip of your head and stuff it up your ass soooo deep that they would have to perform a Cesarian to take it out of your bladder! *Holding a knife at stragos throat*
Strago: Dai dai dai! Where did she get the knife from?
Agnes: hey! Don't look at me. I don't know her close enough to know where she keeps all that.
Strago: ok ok! I'll tell you! Control yourself woman!
Chocolate:
Now PGs are just like dementors! They suck all the happiness away from you. so unfortunately we are all muggles and cannot do patronuses. We can eat chocolate to recover from a dementor attack. I mean hey! It's scientifically impossible to feel bad while eating chocolate
(Sorry to all the poeple who haven't read harry potter..... actually no. It's your fault that you didn't read such an amazing book)
Headphones:-
Rock songs to make you let out the anger and melody songs to soothe you. You can listen to these whenever you want to! Let it be writing notes or walking to the blood bank.
Blank space:-
You need to learn the ability of spacing out. Blanking out. When they go nuts and start shouting at you. You must learn the ability of blocking your ears and allow your favourite song to play in your head. Or you can remember your favourite goal from yesterday's game and instead of the football you can imagine your favourite football player kicking the PGs head. Just consider as your battle armour so that what they say does not penetrate you
Agnes:hehe...that's wat she said..
Ansara: I swear to God I will stab you first!
Happy place movie;-
Get a nice happy movie like a Disney movie or a superhero movie which you love. So all the times you go to the blood bank and wait for them to get your order (sounds like an McDonald's order). You can see a few scenes by then. Trust me. They will send you to get blood so many times that you will finish a full movie trilogy. Hopefully some enternal spotless for your mind
Be there but not there:-
The main thing of labour ward is you should look busy. Not being busy.. looking busy. Just keep walking with one determined look and a fast pace like you are going to find an empty room to change into your Superhero outfit to save the world. Your expression must be so intense that they would be like "Ok. I better not ask him where he was. He's walking so fast he's definitely going to stamp my foot". So every hour use this walk....and just walk out of the ward. Go out...put yr timer for 7 minutes (or however long you feel you can pull it off)...chill...do some stretches.... Listen to your favourite rolling stones song and then once yr timer finishes...waaaaalk back in with that determined pace! Repeat every 45minutes to maintain yr sanity (done and proven by your author ;))
Strago: Now that you have heard what is to be done...time for to take yr leave..STRAGO OUT!....muahahaha...
*Bonfire forming a tornado and then when it goes out they see that strago is missing*
Ansara: wow. That was a dramatic exit
Agnes: yaaa. It's quite a coincidence also that there is a guy running in the background with his pants on fire!
BYE STRAGO! LIE DOWN AND ROLL! THAT WILL PUT OUT THE FIRE!
Agnes: "I really cannot believe we are actually going to a middle of a forest at this time"
Ansara: "oh shut up. Im a girl walking in the dark with you. So if someone should be worried. It's got to be me"
Agnes: "That is just low. So anyway where are we going?"
Ansara: "When a girl asked you to come out you just come running without asking any details. Typical you. But they said he'll be here somewhere. Waaait....
"Who?"
Suddenly in the darkness a wolf howling from behind and they both turn around and suddenly from behind a huge bonfire just emerges and on the side of the bonfire they see a grizzled up 20 year old with a wooden leg and torn up clothes formal clothes. On top of all that he's wearing a white coat with blood stains and other colours (we just hope is just paint) like he just murdered a rainbow. He sitting on top of a log and just stares in the distance. As they look into those eyes they see a total lack of sleep and they look of "I've seen way too much"
Agnes: "Well we better be happy that this is a blog because I'm sure we could never get the production cash for this scene"
Female: "Allow me to introduce you to strago and we are here....for our handover for OG posting"
Both of them sat huddled next to the fire as this stranger just sat feeding the lizard
Agnes: "Howdy!
Strago: *shouting* Look at you two! Enjoying life!!
Agnes:"ok why is this psychopath shouting?"
Ansara:" I think he lost his hearing. Must have heard too many loud noises"
Strago:" Thinking that you finished the hardest of postings! That you're crri life has seen the worst. Ooooh you guys have not seen the craziest side which medicine has to offer. You guys have definitely not gone to OG posting
Agnes: "Ok now that is just ridiculous. I finished my medicine posting. I have seen more than 80 cases in my medicine posting and I have slept for some 2 hours during the admission day so I am sure that had to be the hardest"
Strago: "Ooooooh the that little line of self consolation I was having too. I repeated those lies to myself over and over again! That I had seen medicine posting and that is the hardest as it can get. But what is normal work place psychology? They give you some work. You do it wrong and then they get angry with you. Naturally! Ok but in this scenario. They first shout at you....then they tell you what to do! At that point you won't be feeling bad that you did something wrong. You'll be like "what the f*ck just happened" or "am I on a prank show? Is this really happening?"
Ansara: "So how is the labour ward?"
Strago: "Oh you mean the chamber of horrors? Oh ya. That's what we call it because 1. It is a horrible place
And 2. Do you know how in harry potter there was a basilisk which would slither around and if you look into its eyes your dead. Well same here! You just by accident give eye contact to any of the PGs there you're dead! They'll somehow give you work!
Strago: Do you know that Sheela ma'am?
Agnes: oh she is just looking wow! She's the reason I had some attendence to write exam. I would go just too her
Strago: I had a crush on her...
Agnes: you are speaking on behalf of half the men in college
Strago: She is just wow!
Agnes: wow na wow!
Strago: double wow!
Agnes: so much wow that I can make dog noises all day "wowowoow...
Ansara: OMG! You shameless idiots! Shes married and has 2 kids.
Agnes and strago together:....so what's your point?
Ansara: wait a minute.....had a crush? Why the past tense? What happened?
Strago: *sigh* I used to like her until I entered the labour ward. And then i saw her shout there. I do not how that place changes a person like that. I swear to God I imagined her growing fangs and then her head would start spinning. I was so scared I was about to stab her with a crucifix. *Wiping tear* oh that was the day I started drinking.
Strago: Sometimes seeing some of these people who work in IT companies who keep on complaining about their work atmosphere. About how they changed company because they felt the wallpaper was dark or they felt the cabins were too small and majority of cases are because the good looking intern would have rejected them.
I want to take those choosy bastards and throw them into a labour ward and let them see what a work atmosphere really is!
Because in a labour ward it's like a bunch of screaming witches all sat in a room, rehearsed and then put a mike in front of them and tried singing rock music! It's that loud!
I'm not kidding. The patients are screaming in pain. The PGs are shouting at the patients,at the house surgeons...the nurses are shouting at the workers....the workers are shouting at the walls and the wheelchairs. It's like a competition to outdo eachother....hehe. and you thought pediatrics was loud! This posting didn't take my sanity...but it took my hearing!
*Suddenly Ansara takes her phone out*
Agnes: who are you flirting with?!
Ansara: nothing. My aunt just send a pic of her son. So cute na?
Guy: that's a boy?
Girl: strago! You see this *showing phone to him*
Strago: Aaaaah! Keep that away from me! Don't show it to me!
Ansara: what? How could you say that about him? He's so cute!
Strago: Not after you see where they come from!
Agnes: What an earthquake are you talking abou..... OooooOoooh. *Snatching phone from girl and throwing it away*
Guy: So how long do they let you go eat?
Strago: ahahahah! Oh that is a good joke! You really think that they will let you go eat while they don't eat themselves. I don't know who are more meaner. The PGs who don't let you eat....or the ones who tell you to go eat lunch at 4 o clock. By that time they would have started dinner preparation!
Now I want to say a quick story about a leeetle girl who just wanted to become a doctor. But by some twist of fate which was played by the devil itself she had no option but to become a gynaecologist. So that girl was smiling to all the patients to all her co-workers but we all knew that wasn't going to last long. Second year she had juniors to let out all that stress and she started feeling that smiling was a lot of hard work and she preferred losing her shit. By the time she reached final year she was so crazy even the Hulk was like "Shhhh. Calm down. You are crazy woman. Don't bite me!"
Agnes: Oh deary me. Is it because she took OG that she became all crazy and started shouting at people
Strago:.....no. thats just how every girl is when they grow up. Hahahaha!
Agnes:Hahahaha!
Ansara: Really? We are still doing those cliche "girls getting angry" jokes still?
Guy: who cares? It's 2018 and it's still funny!?
I remember (this really happened) I was putting an injection for a patient and behind a lady was screaming in labour pain. Suddenly she was like "I can't take this. I'm going home" and she got off the bed and she starting walking off. I'm like "oi! Whr is she going? I am not trained for this! There is no gynac book which has the chapter "what to do when your fully dilated pregnant patient walks from the bed" The worker just went to her and *phat* she slapped him and told her to go back to bed. After that I'm looking at the patient I was putting an injection on ".......planning on going anywhere? No? Good!"
I remember a situation (again this is true) where there were 3 ladies screaming at the same time fully pregnant on 3 different BDS and I'm standing in the middle of them pointing my fingers at them like a Mexican stand off saying "Go on...make a move. I dare you. I'm ready. Whoever comes first. This ward ain't big enough for all 3 of us"
Now how do you know the blood level of the patient?
Ansara: oh that's easy. You take their cbc level and...
Strago: such an amateur you are. These OG pgs have so much medical knowledge they will just look at a patient "hmmm. Ok looks a bit anemic. I'm sure she has some 9 level haemoglobin. Get her 2 units"
You'll be like "how the hell? Does this woman have inbuilt blood scanning vision? Even the terminator can't do that with his scanner!" It's a bit like the opera winfrey show "You get a unit blood! You get a blood! Eeeeveryone gets a unit blood!"
PG: She looks anemic! Give her a unit blood!
Girl: "wait what? I'm a crri!"
Pg:doesn't matter. Infuse a unit for her!
Also they think that getting blood is like buying a drink from a vendor machine. If you type your order you'll get it instantly. They don't know it's a pretty long process. So while you are walking to the blood bank they will keep on calling you like a diabetic patient who just wants his candy! "Did you get it? Did you? What?! Get it quickly! I need it! GET MY PRECIOUS CANDYYYYYY"
Ansara: OK THATS IT!
Agnes:.....oh shit!
Ansara: I did not travel all the way to the middle of a forest with this creep...(Guy: ya. I love you too).... to just listen to you telling cliche detoriating jokes about woman! We know that it is a highly sensitive speciality! I came here to get some tips about how to handle the labour ward! So you are telling me that or I will rip of your head and stuff it up your ass soooo deep that they would have to perform a Cesarian to take it out of your bladder! *Holding a knife at stragos throat*
Strago: Dai dai dai! Where did she get the knife from?
Agnes: hey! Don't look at me. I don't know her close enough to know where she keeps all that.
Strago: ok ok! I'll tell you! Control yourself woman!
Chocolate:
Now PGs are just like dementors! They suck all the happiness away from you. so unfortunately we are all muggles and cannot do patronuses. We can eat chocolate to recover from a dementor attack. I mean hey! It's scientifically impossible to feel bad while eating chocolate
(Sorry to all the poeple who haven't read harry potter..... actually no. It's your fault that you didn't read such an amazing book)
Headphones:-
Rock songs to make you let out the anger and melody songs to soothe you. You can listen to these whenever you want to! Let it be writing notes or walking to the blood bank.
Blank space:-
You need to learn the ability of spacing out. Blanking out. When they go nuts and start shouting at you. You must learn the ability of blocking your ears and allow your favourite song to play in your head. Or you can remember your favourite goal from yesterday's game and instead of the football you can imagine your favourite football player kicking the PGs head. Just consider as your battle armour so that what they say does not penetrate you
Agnes:hehe...that's wat she said..
Ansara: I swear to God I will stab you first!
Happy place movie;-
Get a nice happy movie like a Disney movie or a superhero movie which you love. So all the times you go to the blood bank and wait for them to get your order (sounds like an McDonald's order). You can see a few scenes by then. Trust me. They will send you to get blood so many times that you will finish a full movie trilogy. Hopefully some enternal spotless for your mind
Be there but not there:-
The main thing of labour ward is you should look busy. Not being busy.. looking busy. Just keep walking with one determined look and a fast pace like you are going to find an empty room to change into your Superhero outfit to save the world. Your expression must be so intense that they would be like "Ok. I better not ask him where he was. He's walking so fast he's definitely going to stamp my foot". So every hour use this walk....and just walk out of the ward. Go out...put yr timer for 7 minutes (or however long you feel you can pull it off)...chill...do some stretches.... Listen to your favourite rolling stones song and then once yr timer finishes...waaaaalk back in with that determined pace! Repeat every 45minutes to maintain yr sanity (done and proven by your author ;))
Strago: Now that you have heard what is to be done...time for to take yr leave..STRAGO OUT!....muahahaha...
*Bonfire forming a tornado and then when it goes out they see that strago is missing*
Ansara: wow. That was a dramatic exit
Agnes: yaaa. It's quite a coincidence also that there is a guy running in the background with his pants on fire!
BYE STRAGO! LIE DOWN AND ROLL! THAT WILL PUT OUT THE FIRE!
No comments:
Post a Comment