Balus Box office Bonanza episode 1 -I

We've seen a lot if stuff in this blog. We've seen stories about me, my views on certain aspects of life, disturbing pictures and even more disturbing jokes! But now I'm gonna gonna do something totally fresh this time! I'm gonna do a movie review. So everybody welcome to the first episode of BALUS BOX OFFICE BONANZA (Title makes no sense I know but I couldn't find another last word beginning with b)
       What is the movie which everyone is talking about? Whats got us all checking the reviews in the net? You know what "I"m talking out! Yes! I'm talking about one of the biggest magnum opus (now you know where I got the name "madness opus" from) in Tamil cinema - I

      Movie name- I
     Cast:Vikram.Amu Jackson, Upen Patel
     Director: Shankar
     Plot:relax! I ain't giving no spoilers!
     Bottom line:A masterpiece portrait on a simple canvas

     First things first....do u type it "I" or "Ai"?!? I have no clue! if I use aI it looks like someone shouting! So I'll just use "I".
  Now the biggest debate is the two types if reviews we getting for the movie. We have 1 side saying that this is one of the masterpieces in Indian cinema and we have another group saying that the plot is weak. Like one of my friends said "Vikram gave a IIT preparation for a half yearly exam" actually I don't agree with that but the line was funny. I just want to clear it up.
      Weve been following the "I" buildup for a year! From when the motion poster got released to when the first look and till the trailer. So each was so amazing and more confusing. The perfect effect a trailer would give. We were guessing the story after each attempt and each story was just getting more retarded. A strange situation happened in which a drunk dance master caught me and he started saying stuff about how Shankar stole his story for I....then after that he started talking about how he could talk to animals. So the debate of the day was which the most retarded thing he said out of the 2!
     To get to the point its one of the most beloved and most common stories of all time. The revenge drama! You know...hero faces some personal tragedy and finally gives them some poetic justice! Ah revenge! The best feeling in the world! Better than a erec...I'm sorry I mean a exotic time in the tropics! So when you played all the guessing games and it comes to that it kinda gets you low.
   The movie is perfect in all scales! Acting - masterclass...screenplay -brilliant! Every aspect is the best! So when there's 1 negative it kinda obvious. And as a person who reviews its your duty to observe the negatives and the positives. No matter how much you loved the movie and when you notice that small defect. You have to write it down. That's why you get paid to do it. Its like when the bad star wars movie came the fan boy in the reviewer just wanted to scream " woooow! Finally!!! Another Darth apart from vadar!" But they had no option but to comment on all the many flaws in the movie. (Hmmm...I'm a bit suspicious about the star trek review)
     So I'm saying I think I is a total masterclass. If you don't sit and waste your time trying to guess the story and look for negative points. Its like a challenge given to Shankar and vikram. "I'm going to give you a simple story! Give me a masterpiece! Turn this stone into gold! And wow! Did Shankar's midus touch succeed!!"

Friends! countrymen! let me your ears......or not

One of the main reasons I started this blog a because im insecure. I just Don't know who to express to. Who is close enough to give a damn about what I say. A main example is between Juniors and seniors in college. There have been cases when the senior considers the junior his "junior me" or protege whearas the junior wont feel like that. It's like the senior will taaaalk to him for aages. Giving him advice of all sorts. Nobody can resist the urge to give advice. At that point the junior will like "yes sir! Correct sir! No no! I don't mind you telling saying sir! Oh another story sir? No problem! I have time!" But when the senior finally leaves him he'll be like "pah! I thought he'll never finish! If he said one more story I would have slit my throat! That's the only escape!" So that's why I've started this. Not to let out my hundreds if stories and er...philosophies to some poor soul! (So all my college juniors you better thank me!)
        You know who suffers the most from this? Sober people when Other guys drink. We guys are not always openly emotional. Hey! we are emotional but not as open as girls. That's why the dialogue "stop crying! Be a man!" The same way how guys are very shamelessly sexually open! Have you ever seen a guy refuse sex? Or say something like "I'm not in the mood?" Or "I've got a headache?" Because I haven't! Whether it be afternoon, morning, interval of a children's animation movie, before exam! Damn! we always ready! Girls aren't usually like that. You know if a guy comes and tells his wife I'm not in the mood for sex. That's it! The wife will switch on her police dog mode and will get all suspicious! "Why is he wearing a new shirt? And he also shaved! And also not in the mood! He cheating on me! I knew it! I kneeew it! Time to take out the trash! *picking up sharpest item to her left*"
           Ok! So coming back...guys tend to keep their emotions in and so they are used to it. My advice to all guys is..NEVER DRINK WITH GUYS WHO HAVE A MAD CRUSH ON A GIRL OR WHO SUFFERED A BREAKUP!" Because all that soppy love stories which he he hid inside will aaaaall come out. Majority of cases just start crying with no warning! He'll be like a fire alarm! No off switch and it will make yr ears bleed! Drunk guys won't mind so much because they speaking the same language and they'll be in the same messed up Wavelength! Whearas the sober guys will be just smile and nod but actually will be looking aeouns the room for some exit route! Some can't stand the torture and will just start drinking then! "KILL ME NOW! *taking vodka shot*...HIC! Be...st..poison ever!"
      I've thought..imagine everyone in college had a blog! You know that'll mean..people will let out aaaall what they want in this and that means all the juniors will escape from hours of agony (if he's sober). Ingenius eh?;)
      

2015! Here I come!

 Where are my manners? (That's a question my mum has been asking for years) I know its late but I want to use this opportunity to wish all you readers HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD!
    Ok! Ok! Resolutions! What's the most famed resolution of all time? "I'm going to start working out sincerely from Jan 1st" or "I'm going to start studying properly from this year onwards!" I tried the second one you know? Its like I remember after new Year I was taking a bath and I was looking in the mirror and I was giving a serious expression or my "shits gonna get real bitches!" Face as I like to call it. I modulated my voice to a looow Lawrence fishbourne like voice and I was telling myself "ok Kaushik. Enough fun and games! You got to take things seriously from now! Study! Be regular to college! And be a much more mature person from now on..........HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! OOHOHOHOHOHO!!! *wiping tear* oh...this has to be my best joke yet" Mostly when people talk to themselves to the mirror the most common dialogues are "We have to win this football match somehow! I've got to play my bes.....omg! Is that a pimple?" Ooooor "Holy shit! Look at my eyes! I'm sooooo high..hehe....he he...*cough*...he he"
        When it comes to new year there are 2 types of people
1.people who are early sleepers and who usually sleep at 11 but they somehow stay up till 12. Wish some 3 friends or in a guys case wish some few girls he talks to in the hope that something can happen between them. And then they welcome the new year by going to the temple first thing in the morning.
So sweet na? The other type is
2.People who sleep for some 4 hours on 31st afternoon. And are fresh in the night and go for a new year party and.....after that nobody remembers what happens. All what happens is that the guy will wake up at 11 in the morning with a huuge hangover unable to feel his legs and it'll take 1hour for each of his body part of his to start working again slowly. And by the time he's in full functioning condition it'll be 12 o clock of the next day. Technically for them 2015 starts on January 2nd. January 1st doesn't exist!
The cases who want to start gymming sincerely as their new year resolutions are even more funny. On january 1st you will see that all the gyms will be fuuull! Then see the same gym on January 5th...Eeempty! Now I understand why gyms always make u pay yearly or 6 month memberships?
Now lets talk about my resolutions. I've made only one simple one - "This year 2015 I will be more insane and reckless than ever and do more crazy stuff than 2014!!"
   My friends reaction was like "I don't think even possible!" Let's see ...;)
   

Pros from a pro!

Hola! Ok the main reason why I started the blog was to actually bitch about college. (To make it more dramatic...expose the college!) But then again I realized no matter how much you hate the place or complain about it. Nothings going to change. This isn't school where you complain to your mum everyday to one point till they cannot take it! And they change your school to shut you up!
   I used to generally only complain about college. You can even see it in the first blog entries but after some 2years I for the hang of the place. I kinda felt bad that noone was there to tell me all this when I joined college. So I don't want you guys to feel the  same. So Here is my survival tips.. What not to do, pros of the college which no other college has!

Unbelievable freedom:-
In other colleges no matter what year you're in there's alwayS a small curfew. But in my place (from 2nd year onwards) the world is yours! Noone is going to say anything! You can leave at 2 in the morning  and come back at 3 in the afternoon, you can leave at 5 in the morning and come noback at 2 in the morning! You can go out and kill someone or you can kill someone inside the hostel (heck! They'll already done it)

Movie paradise:
Chidambaram has 3 theaters. What is special about them is...2 of them are  next to each other and the other one is some 50m away. So if you look at the distance between all 3 of the screens its almost the same area of a huge multiplex!
Another awesome part about this place theatres- You know how hard to get a first day ticket in cities? They start online booking some 2 weeks back and it takes forever for guys without credit cards like me to see! And by that time the jackass friends of mine would have told the twists! I would have given an example now but then again I don't want to spoil any movie twists!               Whearas in hamara chidambaram all there is only one small little opening in which a small goblin like guy gives the tickets and to get a first ticket you just stand in a line some half an hour before the movie and you get it. Ok I'm exadurating a bit about the line its kinda a small mob literally fighting to get tickets. We usually send one guy in to get the tickets so picture this- a small dude in a sea of people and after some ten minute of punching and kicking hell come standing with a ripped shirt and with one show and a black eye! I'll be like "well done dude! Now we need to send someone to get the parking ticket!"..friend:....oh shit!

Location:-
Do you know that exercise psychiatrists do? The word association test. They tell a word and they make you say the first word in your mind. Like "elvis - great music....Michael Jackson - great dance...new York - great buildings ....Pamela Anderson - great b.....ok you get the idea!" So if you tell anyone chidambaram the first word on their heads will be Pondicherry!
      That's right! The most sought after holiday spot in Tamil nadu is just 1 hour away from chidambaram! 1 month of planning for you guys is just a weekly holiday for us!

Foodie heaven:-
Now a common complaint is that the restaurants are kind of cheap here. Here's the best part! Some r just amazingly cheap! I mean just imagine you missed your lunch and you find a hundred rupee note lying around the room (I wish!) Boom! You can fill yourself up and still have change for the tip!
   Can u imagine anyone in bangalore able to do that? My friend found a place which decently fills you for 250 bucks and he's coming to me like "ai! Saw that uh? Am I good or what? 250 bucks! Your full right? Admit it! You are full! You can feel a burp coming? Oh ya..let it out! Leeet it out! You can't find anyplace like this! I'm good! Who's the man? I'm the man!". Me:.....dude your scaring me! Pls stop!

There are a lot more points but i dont want to make this too long. If I am to sum up this place or college in a single dialogue I would say "Everything we want is just in front of us....it depends on how you look at it" ;)