Ghooooooooosts!

Im getting a feeling that my posts are getting monotonous. College jokes....medical jokes...college jokes...medical jokes. So ill give it a break and so heres a topic regarding the supernatural

      Around a few weeks back i was hitting on this girl and then we came up to the topic of the movie "Conjuring 2" (judging by the fact that we reached this topic you can see that i was doing a pretty bad job) and when i told her that i got scared (or drained off all my testosterone in fear) she gave me this disappointed look at me and said "You get scared in ghost movies?! really?" and ya....after that she didnt call me back.
      Really i don't get it why some girls think guys who jump up in ghost stories are wimps. When a ghost comes fast towards your face then your first instinct should be to get the f*ck out of there. So if your boyfriend doesn't jump up during a gjost appearance on screen it could mean either hes drunk of his ass and hes passed out or he has no reflexes and if a ghost attack happens in reality then your all going to die! So if your boyfriend jumps on you during a ghost movie that means 1.his first instinct a to protect you from the ghost or 2.There is a severe lack of physical intimacy in the relationship. Ce Amigo is just horny!
          Theres no point being brave in front of a ghost. You cant fight it! Its pointless! All your punches will go through the ghost. Heck! Even batman cant fight ghosts. If he throws a batarang at it itll go through the ghost. But then again he'll invent a special voodoo which will someone exorcise the ghost. How? Because he's batman!
        Regarding people ghosts there are 3 types of people
       1. People crap scared of ghosts because they would had a personal experience with ghosts. They might have witnessed a person getting pocessed or they might have been in a haunted house. Ooooor they might have heard too many ghost stories from Granny

2. People who boast that they are not scared of ghosts only because they havent had a personal experience with the supernatural

and 3. People who trip on too much acid and see their own ghosts
   
Im in category 2 and i wish to remain that way. Anyone who gets an real life experience will immediately wet their pants and will have a fear of ghosts. Obviously! As if any person  when they see a ghost will suddenly take out a cross and will shout "By the power of the holy spirit i send you back to hell!"
      The problem with ghost movies is that some dumb people have this stereotype that priests can perform exorcism. If those people meet a priest the priest will say "Welcome my children. Here you may open your heart and i will cleanse your sins" and those poeple will be like "Oh oh oh! I know you! Your the dude who kicked the spider walking girls butt in exorcism! Daim! Lets take a selfie!"
          Generally i go to movies to get scared. I jump a lot. That Nun in conjuring 2 still gives me the creeps. If its some dumb unscary movie like Aranmanai then no way! What? You havent heard of Aranmanai? Oh dont worry. Noobody has. An unscary movie with hot ghosts. Guys wont run away from thay ghosts. Theyll ask to be pocessed! "That chick got inside me dude! Literally!
        Majority of ghosts are all these woman with a white dress and looooomg hair covering their face. Infact after i get married and i get scared in a ghost movie with a ghost like that. I will go home and go to my wife and daughter and say "Thats it! Everyone gets bob cuts! I want you to all get cuts like rihanna. I dont want you walking in the middle of the night with that long hair and scaring the shit out of me! Tomoro we burning aaall the white clothes we have! Even my real madrid jersey!
      Have you noticed? Majority of ghosts are teenage girl, small girls or old women who want to take revenge. We have never seen a teenage dude as a ghost (take notes Spielberg) Im just pictures the ghosts dudes will be up in heaven smoking up. One ghost dude will be like "Want to haunt that mansion?" and the other ghost dude will be like "Why? is there any food there?"
      My only experience would be one day before a 5km race i had. I decided to practice during the night around 10 o clock (dont ask why). At that time nobody was in the ground. I thought i was alone. But what i didnt know was that there was a guy jogging also and he was wearing a plain white t shirt and black shorts and I couldnt see the black shorts and also he had a bad tan so i couldn't see his face also. Sooo imagine jogging and behind you see a floating white t shirt coming at you.....in jogging pace. Damn! That was scary!
       Nowadays with this Pokemon Go craze i bet you if the guys go to a haunted house and it becomes dark, the door slam shuts by itself, the lights go off and then theres this evil laughter in the background. Slowly a woman in white dress, long  hair and red eyes will rise and will look down upon the innocent travellers who dare to disturb her. Theyll be some 10 seconds shocked silence and suddenly one dude will look at his phone and shout "Hey! I found a gengar!"
              

College Collections Part 1 - Characters you meet in college

Right. Its been quite sometime since my last post. Ok believe it or not my college life is coming to end. (About bloody time). So in the future incase forget all the cute and retarded details I just want to post it. So this is gonna be a 2 part special. So this will be useful for any kids who are just going to join college. This will tell them in detail who to stay the f*ck away from. This is based on the people i have met in my college life so if any of the characters are resembling you.....it definitely wasnt coincidental. I had you in mind. Ok...here goes

The Various characters you will meet in college are

1.The Hyped up Hot Girl:
    Every class has the hot girl. El Senorita! Va va voom! Da bomb. You know the ony girl which every senior talks about. The girl which makes random people just propose to her. The girl who has a group of guys follow her in a car like the presidential bodyguards. But whats the funny part about her is....she wont look thaaaat good. Heck i mean she looks good but for all this madness. naaa. Shell look just normal. Not like as they say. In fact all her female classmates and seniors will be like "For her? All this buildup for her?! Am i missing something? What is it these guys are seeing?!" but then again a woman never admits that another woman looks good so thats another problem. Even the girl itself will be like "They all following me? Im hot? nice! Since when?"
 Guys wont be complaining too much. Theyll be like "She aint got a beard so shes a girl. Good enough for me."

2.The delusional Stud:
             Everybodys attention please! This guy is the ladies man. This guy has all the ladies looking at him. The guy has every boyfriend insecure. People hate this guy not because they dont like him but because their girlfriends like him. Wooo! The only problem is........none of that bullshit is true. Hes just imagining it. Some 2 girls will talk to him at a time and he thinks he's Tom cruise. Well i dont think these guys are too bad. Its a good attitide. Hey its better being like this than being depressed like someother people

3.The Alcoholic Drug Addict:
            This is the guy who first admits that hes drunk alcohol or hes taken a joint. He would have maybe just taken a glass or just a bottle. Thats all. He barely has any alcohol content in his body. but apparantly when your in first year this is actually a big deal and people actually will look at him in awe. They consider him as the "bad company" which parents would have warned you about before you joined college. The interesting part is that the people who criticised him for drinking will slowly start drinking the next year and will will start drinking waaay more than him. The law of college is - When you join college only some 5 guys will have drinking habits....but when you're leaving college. Only some 5 guys wont have drinking habits.

4. The Everyones Uncle:
     You will see one guy in the class who looks twice your size. Facial hair all over and hair everywh....you get the idea. he'll look like an uncle your dad met at a new year party. Itll be like he drank a bottle of testosterone before joining college.
You will think "Woah! Puberty hit this dude haaard!" Dont worry kids. He looks 30....because he is 30. He would hv finished a degree and then changed his mind and done another course. So dont freak out and start shaving everyday so that you get a beard. Sounds retarded but trust me...ive seen things.

5.The Nerd:
    The nerd! What is a class without the class nerd. The one dude who actually does nothing but study. Hey! im not saying If you study well it doesnt make you a nerd.Ive nothing against people studying well but if you do nothing in college life but study then ya amigo! you a nerd ! You may be making your parents proud but I'm sure theres a small twang of disappointment within your dad. You may feel that this guy will have no sex life but wait and waaatch. During the exam time he will be surrounded by girls asking him doubts. So add this to barneys blog - Studying makes you score bro.

6.The wannabe nerds:
Now these are mostly girls but there arr guys. Some people get scared for tests. Theyll start complaining saying "uhuho. theres only 2 weeks left" Theyll delete their WhatsApp. Stop talking to people. Get stressed. Lose hair. Cry to parents. Stop eating. Go to the library. lose more hair.........and they still fail. In fact the dudes who drink before the exam just wake up...recover from their hangover and then borrow a book and study for an hr and go to the exam.....and they still fail (no clue why i said that). But these people are lucky because they gave such an impression they studied and so parents dont kill them.
Me on the other hand...one look of my dumb (fabulous) smiling face after i fail a test just makes them want to punch my teeth off.

7.The Legend:
*drumroll* This person who can never choose to see. He chooses to see you. You would have seen him for the first few days of college. After that he would have just cut a few classes a day, then a few days a week, and then a few weeks a month. Infact when you see him enter the class (maybe because of a power cut at his house) There will be a shocked silence in class and people all start whispering amongst themselves (and some people asking "who is he?. Shit! hes our class?!") Buuut We all have this admiration for him during exams. We all standing there scared, wearing our formals with neat haircuts and revising with every second we have. (like its going to make a difference) Whereas this dude is just standing there hungover with jeans...crocs...long hair and a beard. While you guys revising he'll be playing clash of clans with an even more intense expression......ironically he'll pass the exam. Dont ask me how

Dont go anywhere because ill be back with.....

*Part 2* Scenarios which happen in college....coming soon