Tamil Bad words *&#$!

(warnin: following post contains several bad words…so all kids below 11yrs who wanna grow up fast….do continue readin)

After joining college…its been a really long time since I heard someone saw such heartwarming words like “fuck u!”or “suck my cock motherfucker!” or “yr fuckin dead!! Im gonna fuckin ruin yr life! U piece of shit!!...aaah..the good ol days…*sniff*…anyway movin on….all my hearin now is the tamil swear “punda”….its a word which is echoin all over tamil nadu……so I thought this word must hv some horrid meanin seeing hw every1 gets angry if they r called a “punda”

                                 But after a few months I found out that the word “punda” means……..VAGINA!!....so everytime a guy in tamil say “poda punda”…the English translation is “go vagina!”…(when we used to play pokemon I used 2 hear stuff like “go Pikachu!”…or..”go charmander”…after 7 yrs…the same guys now say “go vagina!!”) “dai…ippo enakku kadup pundayarkudu da!!!...the English translation is none other than “im a really irritated vagina right now!”…..yeek!

                                          Theres another bad word thy use there –suuni!....the meaning turned out 2 be “penis”….and as usual…”PODA SUNNI!!” means “go penis”…I don’t get it…as a medical college I have 2 protest 2 this….its a disgrace 2 the human body if we curse eachother wit names of genital organs!

And 1 name I seriously didn’t expect…apparatly in tamil…the word “pool” is a bad word….it means dick or something…I had no clue it was a bad word until they started callin me “pool balu” for a few weeks….the most irritatin dialogue was “wats yr favourite football team?”..me:”…er..liverpool..y?.....friend:hehehehe…liver..what?..liver..pool?..hohohoh….me(in mind):fuck u!!!

I Hate Luv Stories

1 of the main thoughts in ever guy when he joins college is about hooking up wit a girl…everyone loves gossiping about the various…college romance..ah! well…even I thought like that…until I joined this college

                                        Commercial tamil movies r the best…hero flying…evil villain wit lots of henchmen who just gets their asses whooped by the hero….the glamorous heroine….hero flying even higher..and a song every 10 minutes 2 show every emotion of the hero..ah! Good stuff!

                                            Now here comes the problem..the local boys hv grown up seeing these movies..and when they see girls 4 the 1^st time in their life….they think that the girl will fall in luv wit them if they keep on stalking her and saying “I love u” over and over again just like the movies…so the girl tries 2 avoid him…tell him politely that she cant love him…but the dude wont listen and like a horny mosquito (im pretty sure in the girls mind she’ll be wishin that there was a “hit spray” specially designed 2 kill pissin off bastards like him)

                                               Ok finally she’ll get read of him wit some method such as 1.shoutin at him….2.beatin him up wit fathers henchmen..or 3.telling him “yr like a brother to me”…. (the last one is the most painful) and the guy (even though he has never talked properly wit that girl) gets all…er…”heartbroken” and becomes wat u call a “love failure” or a “soup boy” and his friends inorder to make him happy spread rumours about the girl even though she hasn’t done anything!!

Oh yeah…this is a the love vocabulary of me college…these words r mainly used when it comes 2 love

                  “correct”ing a girl- if  u succeed in makin a girl in bcomin in yr gf..then u hav “corrected” her

                     Putting a “route” on her – to have a crush on the girl

                     Makin a “sketch” –the plan 1 makes inorder 2 correct a girl

  So imagine I joined college and…friend:…machi! I put a “route” 4 this girl but from without me knowin had already made a “sketch” and “correct”ed her!! Cheh!...me:?!?!?!?!

 Its quite amazing how guys gcall every girl who rejects him a slut…friend: “balu…I proposed 2 that girl..but she rejected me..shes a slut!”…me:….if every girl who hates u is a slut…then this college is a red light area!!!!

chidambaram wildlife

I remember when I first came to chidambaram..i was standin in my hotel room wit my parents lookin at the city traffic lights and traffic (actually all I could see was one conjusted road…and half the street lights weren’t working)..when SUDDENLY A MONKEY JUMPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND LANDED IN FRONT OF ME!! I freaked out!! People who feel like they r left in the concrete jungles of mankind and want more nature…yadda yadda ..shit like that…well..they would…….still hate the place bcos the animals are everywhere

Cows in football court: yep..imagine..yr playin a intense football match..the goalkeeper clears the ball..the central midfielder intercepts the ball..passes the ball to the right midfielder..he tried crossing it to the striker so that he can score…he kicks…ball goes flyin….and hits a cow!...i serious! These cows r the worst pitch intruders ever! When a cow comes into the pitch…all I can shout is “DON’T KICK THE COW…ITS TOMOROWS LUNCH!!”

Monkey Menace: My theory is…the winged monkeys in the “wizard of oz” movie lost their wings…but still had the thirst 2 cause mayhem…and so they came 2 chidambaram…sneaky bastards…the day scholar r used 2 monkeys jumpin on their lawn..but 1 day my close friend went to the basement and she got the shock of her life 2 see 15 monkeys in the basement like a group of gangsters…when she tried 2  run 4 it…a monkey actually grabbed her leg….(if I was in that situation I would kicked a monkey…then all the 15 monkeys would hv attacked me…and in the next day newspaper there would hv been an article “next murder in Chidambaram..boy killed by monkeys..wat is goin on wit the evolution table?”

Dogs in the college :don’t even wanna go 2 the details…dogs even roam in the college building during class hours…imagine…me:…hey dude………..…good morning ma’am…………….stupid dog! U Made my college look bad!! (courage the cowardly dog..heh heh…gettit?!...no?.....k..*fail*)

CHAMBER OF HORRORS

right...in this post im gonna let the pictures do the talkin....in 1st yr we had "dissection classes" (chamber of horrors if u ask me) so everyday we had 2 work on real dead bodi...i mean..kedavars (stupid medical terms)...ya....so hope u guys havent eaten much bcos this is gonna be disturbing

this kinda reminds of u "harry potter - order of phoenix" when ron gets strangles by the floating brains...thankfully these brains dont have tentacles

imagine...after cuttin off the 2 arms of....the 1st doctor was lookin rather worried....the 2nd doctor  told "hey...dont worry about him...hes armless now!!"

looks like we..er...opened the gates 2 his heart...oh wait a minute...its a her!!

if u look closely....she has nail polish on!!!

U kno hw some people say the human body is just like strings and mirrors...well...about the strings...i think they were right!

After fred and george weasley invented the extendable ears....ladies and gentlmen..i give u...the extendable eyes

This is y u shouldnt dive straight first into a pool!!

imagine u take a piece of paper and u wanna throw it into the bin...u look down and............. 

A small introduction about my college

Right now..i  wanna use this opportunity 2 give a brief description about my college


                               I study in R.m.m.c.o.l.l.e.g.e  in Annamalai University in Chidambaram 
(im pretty sure u havent heard of any of the 3). ..the full form of r.m.m.c is Rajah Muthiah Medical C.o.l.l.e.g.e....oh yeah.. the expansion of c.o.l.l.e.g.e - "College Of Lowest Level of Education Given to Everyone"

 now the recipe 4 my college is.....152 students in a 1 class + teachers who dont give a 
fuck about the students + a dean who thinks he is a villain from a B grade tamil movie +
 Seniors who r sober 2 hours a day (they r drunk most of the time)

The other name 4 my college is "raggin murder college"..yep..u guessed it...the murder due 2 raggin took place only in my college..all the rules against raggin happened only bcos my college (see! look at the contribution my college gave 2 all colleges...if u guys arent gettin the sh*t beaten out of u in 1st yr..its bcos of my college)


the story goes like thos....the junior's name was Pon Navarasu...and he was killed by a senior called John David...apparantly John David was Navarasu's known senior.. (oh yeah a "known senior" to a junior is a senior who personally knos the junior and  protects the junior and so whenever the junior goes 2  any problem..the known senior takes responsibilty 4 him and helps him in times...pretty ironic eh?)...Navarsu went 2 visit 
John....John David was totally drunk...so in his drunken state he slapped him..Navarasu fainted...wat would any normal medical student hv done when u see someone faint in front of u...1.take his pulse and see if hes ok...2.take him 2 the hospital..or                                              3.do nothin until he wakes up (i would do no 3)...but out jackass john David thought he was dead...so he cut him up to 
tiny pieces!!! (AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! *horror movie scream*) and after that the stupid son of a bitch John David went on a train and threw all the pieces all over Tamil Nadu!!

                             

Navarasu's parents told the police and they somehow they found all the body parts (daim! that must hv been 1 
disturbin and tedious jigsaw puzzle) and so they finally arrested and he got a life sentence (Justice is Served!!)
The best part is...he was murdered in K.R.M Hostel....which is none other than the hostel where i am staying and i heard his room is in the same block as mine...that didnt freak me out until.....canteen worker:u kno kaushik...if u shave that beard and cut yr hair yll look just lie.....me:..er...chris brown...no...er...ilayathalapathy Vijay?...ok..who?....canteen worker: Navarasu! A perfect match!!....(after that day i never bought anythin from that guy..even if i was hungry)

HW not 2 study medicine!!

Right...its a pretty well known that medicine is 1 of the most hardest (and not 2 mention most expensive)...the common reaction given is..."wtf is this shit?!"..dont believe me...see 4 yourself!

so im pretty sure u guys r thinkin that im studyin more than i have ever studied im my life.....but 2 be honest....i havent studied for the past 6 months....usually the problem is because the crowd here doesnt encourage me 2 study....but in my college.....they DONT LET U STUDY...im not kiddin...1 day i was studyin....OK..tried studyin...when my friend saw 

wit the book....he then shouted...pounced on me...and gave me a rather complicated submission lock which included him twistin my arm and pullin back...(and after that i dont kno wat he did bcos i blanked out due 2 the pain)...and he said he would only release me if i closed the book

so my advice is...if u wanna study...lock the doors and windows as if u gonna see a porn movie...and then start studyin!

i remember 1 day i got 2 mark out of 15.......i felt terrible....i thought i should drop out of college....i Was thinkin my parents are gonna disoWn me 4 sure!! next thing i kno...i found out some 7 guys got 0....4 got half....so u can say my mark Was the average mark!!

usually in high class colleges (like p.s.g medical) the most clever people and the child prodigies of the rural areas come 2 colleges like that.....Whearas the stupidiest..the boys Wit the least I.Q...the numskulls of the rural areas...come 2 my college....(inother Words...these r my people!!)

Whenever u join a college...people usually compare the marks they got in 12th standard....my college on the other hand.....student 1:hW much did u pay 4 joinin college?....student 2: 24 lakhs....student 3: 21 lakhs...student 4: 18 lakhs......student 1: ADAPAVI!!!

so if u ask me wat is my future of my classmates in my college as doctors all i can say is "QUACK QUACK QUUUUAAAACK!!"